Zappa, Frank - The Dangerous Kitchen Lyrics

https://youtu.be/bi_XD1KWR9Q

After I last looked in it, I decided to solder my fridge door shut.

This is peak musical pedagogy.

I have that sort of phobia where I'm afraid to eat meals prepared by the people whom I don't know/who never prepared a meal for me before because I never know what their standpoint on hygiene is. This song pretty much in detail describes how my brain works when dealing with that phobia.

Mirar el muuuundooo con toda su sinceridad..Gran Cualidad..si SOS Humano..

This song reminds me of growing up with my grossly dysfunctional parents. Our kitchen was EXACTLY like this!

So its VInnie or Chad on drums?

Who the fuck wants to clean it!??

A legendary track... but i do prefer the original version.. this is the cd version...
the original lp version has a different track listing and also has vinnie.. etc etc
Still Gear though.. :-)

Who else has a kitchen like this? :D

I do. :-)

And the stuff in the strainer DID have a mind of its own.. :-)

@Stephen Spring The contents of my beetroot container tell stories that would make Stephen King scream. :D

@Dean Just Dean Ha Ha Ha.. Excellent.
"Who the fuck wants to clean it" :-)

Who the fuck wants to clean it?

Listening to this, it's like every note belongs, and without just one, it would be missing something... much like the stars in the firmanent, and the clouds in the sky, and the letters in the alphabet, and the elements in the periodic table, and the boogers in your nose, and the pepperoni on your pizza, and the narco terrorists on your street, and the conspiracy theorists in your queue, and the lint in your pockets, and the racists on your TV, and the treasonous rats in your government, and the dead bodies in your backyard, and the wars in your history books, and the serial killers in your head, and the hairs on the pussy you may or may not eat in the near or distant future. Everything Belongs.
My world needs you Frankie.

The DANGEROUS KITCHEN

If it ain't't one thing it's another
In the middle of the night when you get home
The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
The meat thing
Where the cats ate through the paper
The can things with the sharp little edges
That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
The soft little things on the floor that you step on
They can all be DANGEROUS
Sometimes
The milk can hurt you
(If you put it on your cereal
Before you smell the plastic container)
And the stuff in the strainer
Has a mind of its own
So be very careful
In the dangerous kitchen
When the night time has fallen
And the roaches are crawlin'
In the kitchen of danger
You can feel like a stranger

The bananas are black
The got flies in the back
And also the chicken
In the dish with the foil
Where the cream is all clabbered
And the salad is frightful
Your return in the evening
Can be less than delightful

You must walk very CAREFUL
You must not lean against it
It can get on you clothing
It can follow you in
As you walk to the bedroom
And you take all your clothes off
While you're sleeping
It crawls off
It gets in your bed
It could get on your face then
It could eat your complexion
You could die from the danger
Of the dangerous kitchen

Awesome album art, uncanny Sinatra voice, this is too much.

Who the fuck wants to clean it?

Frank brought me here, and I'm glad he suggested it - cause this is some p-funk space out funk.

I think the idea of singing lyrics about some 'orrible, shitty kitchen to a kind cocktail lounge, jazz fusion backing, is just as cool as an eskimo trudging across the Tundra...

I like Frank Zappa, but this is terrible. It sounds like what F.Z would write if he was trying to do a scam like in the 1967 movie "The Producers.

this is his one of his favorite songs actually lol

And the other favorite is "Jazz discharge party hats" Another superb piece of Frank. :-)

I spent too much time in the dangerous kitchen. Now it hurts when I pee. Please help

Blame it on Lucille (ha-ha)
You should go and talk to L.Ron Hoover (not in "The Kitchen" but in "The Closet")

all the restaurants in Delta Colorado

Sometimes, the milk can HURT YOU. If you put it on your cereal before you smell the plastic container.

This is like when Dice Clay released 'the day comedy died'

Dedicated to the Woodson Brothers somewhere in North America at this moment. They cracked this Buckeye on occasion. Wooooo!

I came here looking for the cookie jar, but "1st wotld" narions THROW.AWAY SO much food (it is LITERALLY a FACT that even amongr the most recalcitrant tent dweller must be such a low-energy person. TO "starve in the styreets" of a post-1965 USAtakes a special class of ignorance.In his time as CA guvnor' Reagan night've hammerbanned State fucking HOSPITALS.Something else to ru,imate on: "In THIS Day And AGE', Bruce Springsteen would have SAME EXACT optics as somebody like Jared Loughner. Need not dig too deep; "Boss" hi,self has stated MANY times that the college he briefly attended had their concerns about his further presence on campus after dropping out. HARDLY any Q-worthy digging here. Go 1; go AL. TRUST the plan

What in the actual fuck

I have recently cut both of my left hand fingers in that Dangerous Kithchen.

Sometimes, the milk can HERT YEW

Sometimes
The milk can hurt you
(if you put it on your cereal
Before you smell the plastic container)

Steve vai

frying pans are hystrical

Especially if they are in the Ministry Of Silly Woks!

When I was hanging out with Robert from the Stains,he was obsessed with Zappa

actually, Bananas are fantastic ...ONLY when they are already BLACK %-))

Makes me want to crack-out a gallon of BLEACH !

pointless

you got no flow

do you really think this is brilliant? haha cmon this is a waste of time...It's emptiness

The only empty thing here is your head :)

That's exactly why I like it...
I can't think of a more mundane excuse for a song than a yeastinfected kitchen. It takes a certain sort of mind to come up with this...and a certain sort of weird mind (like mine) to dig it.
No--I'm not exactly normal. That's how I like it...

Standard disco boy here, huh Ed?

I used to know this by heart.

I have worked in a few of these Kitchens.....

I like how Frank looks like"Ned Flanders, the man with the chest" on that album art.

He's meant to look like Rank Xerox not Ned Flanders

It's awesome...looks like a depiction of a modern-day heroic epic, and then you realise he's trying to swat flying insects.

Current situation.

*WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO CLEAN IT?!?!*

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😎

Don't quote me on this, but I believe I read that this was performed live without the guitar, and then Vai transcribed everything Frank sang and laid it down afterwards as an overdub. It's a lot of work... I've done things like that, but not for the whole length of a song! If you like that kind of thing, paste qoLS9We9hl4 into the last part of a YouTube URL and watch "Jones Big Ass truck rentals & storage - Harmonizator" - it's hilarious, awesome, and brilliant.

I know that's what Vai did with The Jazz DIscharge Party Hats.

Thanks for the tip. I watched "Jones Big Ass truck rentals & storage - Harmonizator". It's brilliant & very funny. "Do you know how big a bus is?" lol

Vai in a recent interview with Nikki Sixx said that he indeed transcribed every vowel that Frank did and then played it over his monologue.

There's a reason why he's credited with "Impossible guitar parts" on Zappa albums.

But if you like that kind of stuff look up Victor Wooten's "Kaila talks" to hear what he did with some baby talk from his daughter.

Mike Keneally performing vocals and guitar on discharge party hats simultaneously live: https://youtu.be/GfJt8kmLgY4

Frank Zappa more like Frank Sinatra

Did I say?

My mum loves this!! XD

Is Steve vai playing guitar?

@martlgr yes

a brilliant mind gone too soon

If it's not one thing it's another lol

Unfortunately he died of prostate cancer. We all should visit the urologist not only if the month is blue or pink. But the time he spent between us was already worth it. At least for me, I just have to thank him

I was gonna fetch a bowl of cereals,i don't think ill bother now.

Oh God!

...At my house toniiiiight!!

If you squeeze it when you wipe up, what you get on your hands then could unbalance your glands....

and make you blind or whatever! ok tmi

He left out the RATS

Hot Rats?!!!