Weird Al Yankovic - Handy Lyrics
[Verse 1:]
First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodelling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)
Just one name that's always trusted
[Chorus:]
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flow
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's about to explode
[Verse 2:]
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot cause your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique
Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one
[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, everyone said so
I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh
[Bridge:]
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit 'til I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb (OW!)
[Verse 3:]
Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker
[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, you already know
I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I'm so handy, you should call this pro
I'm in the phone book and se habla Español
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Weird Al Yankovic - Dead Car Battery Blues
- Weird Al Yankovic - Inactive
- Weird Al Yankovic - Mission Statement
- Weird Al Yankovic - Now That's What I Call Polka!
- Weird Al Yankovic - My Own Eyes
- Weird Al Yankovic - Word Crimes
- Weird Al Yankovic - Sports Song
- Weird Al Yankovic - Foil
- Weird Al Yankovic - Lame Claim To Fame
- Weird Al Yankovic - Handy
- Weird Al Yankovic - Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me
- Weird Al Yankovic - Whatever You Like
- Weird Al Yankovic - If That Isn't Love
- Weird Al Yankovic - Another Tattoo
- Weird Al Yankovic - First World Problems
- Weird Al Yankovic - Tacky
- Weird Al Yankovic - Jackson Park Express
- Weird Al Yankovic - Crampton Comes Alive
Rand Lyrics
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Weird Al Yankovic Handy Comments
Love that he's dressed as Schneider from One Day At A Time.
My sons
The only man rappers fear.
i have watched this a few times now and just realized, he repaired the leaf blower so well that it blew off his mustache.
You sir, are a genius. Thank you for DECADES of your work.
Well.... That was Epic!
You know you’re getting old when you no longer know what song Weird Al is parodying.
Hulk Hogan mustache alert
Is that Cheech and Dante from Clerks?
Eddie Pepitone!!!!!!
Schneider
One Day at a Time
Honestly... I have no idea what song this is parodying... but im satisfied regardless.
Presumptuous Pseudonym fancy
its as if a million dads just screamed out in glee
this is so much better than iggys version
I don't know why I got a notification on this video. I already sent Al an email telling him to Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me!
This song isn't crap it's a masterpiece
Nobody:
Guava juice thumbnails: 1:01
Awesomeness
I enjoy Weird Al's songs just as much as the original Melodies and the most important thing I've learned is that there's no such thing as a parody of music when your intention to create something beautiful is sincere
His hourly rates are so low even undocumented laborers from south of the border can't complete
The CEO of Home Depot displaying his immense power circa 2014
First thing's first, I'm the drillest
I love this video and song plus the original song.
Me: *watches tv*
COMMERCIALS:
Fuckin' Brilliant!! Iggy could learn some things from this rapper!
The parody has a better beat than the original
Am I the only one who got a craving for cheesecake after watching this?
BattleToads I did
"If they don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."-Red Green
This song is basically my life and I love it.
That bit set in velvet.
Yes. I agree.
This is awesome! I love this beat but not Iggy Azalea
i think the bart baker parody was better
Baker is vulgar, autotuned, and greedy.
Al is creative, talented and asks permission and pays every artist he parodies royalties.
Comparing Al to Baker is like comparing fine crystal to a paper cup.
Does anyone else think that the man that was the customer was a bit dramatic?
BE GONE!!!!!!!!!!
this song makes me laugh its funny
What is this a parody of
Fancy by Iggy Izalea or however her name is spelled.
Thank you @Cory Kamermans
What is this a parody of?
lemme glue dat glue dat, and screw dat screw dat
I love how he always incorporates little details of the original song, like in this case, the "glue/screw/do dat, glue/screw/do dat" lines.
my dad's theme song lmfao
This man is lookin like Lazarbeam
You can always rely on Weird Al Yankovic to make a great, funny song 👍😅
I like this beat now.
Han Solo’s brother, 100%
Omg "I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one" 😂🤣😂 I'm dying
Al made this song almost tolerable.
They used green screen so many times.
voice crack 0:10
"Glue that! Glue that! Screw that! Screw that!"
Feels like it should be an actual advertisement for a contractor
This is not a parody. A parody is an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect. Other than the beat and the flow this could easily be any other song. Oops
I’d let this guy fix anything of mine any day. *DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY!*
still rock'n my screwdriver got the whole world thinking I'm Mcgyver
Yo I think Iggy Azalea stole Al's song and made their own.
Not his best work. Probably because the original wasn't much to write home about.
Al has a great voice in all seriousness
sounds like Ruka Ruka Ali's braking bad parody
I think that he fixed the original song with this parody
If this was a commercial I'd hire him even if I didn't need anything lmao
Well, if the women won't find you handsome, at least they'll find you handy.
1:52 :'D
mmm, i don't think he could be a blonde
That deserves a comment and a like
You're Amazing!!
If I'm too Sexy isn't your theme then it should at least be this song.
"If the women don't find you handsome they should find you handy." R. Green
Howard Pearcey damn right I can clear the drive and completely redo it in the same day
Alright what's the phone number
i`d hire wierd al
The special effects can’t get much worse than this, and that’s a good thing. It looks like a real commercial for a handyman company.
I listen to you so much my mom is so sick of your music
Al's released 14 albums, have you listened to all of them?
It might make your mom happier if you do.
Weird Al Snider
Who else remembers Sneider from One Day at a Time?
This would have made a great opening song/ video to Rob Vanwinkle Vanilla Ice's "The Vanilla Ice Project" Home Renovation show.
We are less than 3 weeks from 2020....
I was just recommended this video.
Nice callback to Living in the Fridge
Peep 2:08 where he actually hammers his thumb
I like that song the more i wach it
i really belive that weird al is the best handyman around
You still got it man!
@0:21 did he do a lil john, haa?
"When ur dishwashers bout to 'splode" 😂😂😂 rotfl. Cracks my shit up everytime. & @2:15 gd man 😂😂
Pls don't screw *that*
Why do I feel like my Dad would like this?
Mullumbimby sends its regards.
That leaf blower knocked that mustache off his face
What's the original song???
Anyone else seeing flashes of Matthew McConaughey? 🧐
It's a shame this is not a real small-town local tv ad.
I really appreciate that he's dressed as Han Solo...
This original song sucked but this is good
How does Bart Baker have more subs than you?
Baker is vulgar, autotuned and greedy.
Al is creative, talented and asks permission and pays every artist he parodies.
I agree, it's sad that more people don't know about Weird Al.
Been a fan of Al's since late night on the Dr. Dimento Show and loved when his videos were on Turkey Television!
I'll install anything that you want, baby....GIGGITY
me when i learn anything
Lyrics and hilarious body language. Love it! Watch UHF if you guys haven't.
I wish I could like these twice.
What song does this parody?
When did Mr. Schneider hook up with the Mario Brothers?
Commercials in the 90`s like
Lol😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂