Weird Al Yankovic - Handy Lyrics






[Verse 1:]
First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodelling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)
Just one name that's always trusted

[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, you already know
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flow
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's about to explode

[Verse 2:]
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot cause your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique
Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one

[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, everyone said so
I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh

[Bridge:]
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit 'til I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb (OW!)

[Verse 3:]
Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker

[Chorus:]
I'm so handy, you already know
I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I'm so handy, you should call this pro
I'm in the phone book and se habla Español





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Weird Al Yankovic Handy Comments
  1. B.... B....

    Love that he's dressed as Schneider from One Day At A Time.

  2. T.... S....

    My sons

  3. C.... P....

    The only man rappers fear.

  4. O.... T....

    i have watched this a few times now and just realized, he repaired the leaf blower so well that it blew off his mustache.

  5. S.... P....

    You sir, are a genius. Thank you for DECADES of your work.

  6. J.... M....

    Well.... That was Epic!

  7. T.... F....

    You know you’re getting old when you no longer know what song Weird Al is parodying.

  8. Y.... u....

    Hulk Hogan mustache alert

  9. M.... W....

    Is that Cheech and Dante from Clerks?

  10. w.... ....

    Eddie Pepitone!!!!!!

  11. M.... D....

    Schneider

    M.... D....

    One Day at a Time

  12. P.... P....

    Honestly... I have no idea what song this is parodying... but im satisfied regardless.

    P.... P....

    Presumptuous Pseudonym fancy

  13. C.... B....

    its as if a million dads just screamed out in glee

  14. J.... C....

    this is so much better than iggys version

  15. C.... H....

    I don't know why I got a notification on this video. I already sent Al an email telling him to Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me!

    C.... H....

    This song isn't crap it's a masterpiece

  16. E.... g....

    Nobody:
    Guava juice thumbnails: 1:01

  17. B.... G....

    Awesomeness

  18. K.... T....

    I enjoy Weird Al's songs just as much as the original Melodies and the most important thing I've learned is that there's no such thing as a parody of music when your intention to create something beautiful is sincere

  19. u.... ....

    His hourly rates are so low even undocumented laborers from south of the border can't complete

  20. D.... c....

    The CEO of Home Depot displaying his immense power circa 2014

  21. N.... U....

    First thing's first, I'm the drillest

  22. H.... G....

    I love this video and song plus the original song.

  23. A.... M....

    Me: *watches tv*





    COMMERCIALS:

  24. k.... ....

    Fuckin' Brilliant!! Iggy could learn some things from this rapper!

  25. G.... D....

    The parody has a better beat than the original

  26. B.... ....

    Am I the only one who got a craving for cheesecake after watching this?

    B.... ....

    BattleToads I did

  27. T.... ....

    "If they don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."-Red Green

  28. C.... R....

    This song is basically my life and I love it.

  29. G.... G....

    That bit set in velvet.

    Yes. I agree.

  30. j.... ....

    This is awesome! I love this beat but not Iggy Azalea

  31. M.... G....

    i think the bart baker parody was better

    M.... G....

    Baker is vulgar, autotuned, and greedy.
    Al is creative, talented and asks permission and pays every artist he parodies royalties.
    Comparing Al to Baker is like comparing fine crystal to a paper cup.

  32. s.... l....

    Does anyone else think that the man that was the customer was a bit dramatic?

  33. M.... B....

    BE GONE!!!!!!!!!!

  34. g.... s....

    this song makes me laugh its funny

  35. j.... ....

    What is this a parody of

    j.... ....

    Fancy by Iggy Izalea or however her name is spelled.

    j.... ....

    Thank you @Cory Kamermans

  36. B.... L....

    What is this a parody of?

  37. B.... ....

    lemme glue dat glue dat, and screw dat screw dat

  38. m.... ....

    I love how he always incorporates little details of the original song, like in this case, the "glue/screw/do dat, glue/screw/do dat" lines.

  39. k.... k....

    my dad's theme song lmfao

  40. M.... ....

    This man is lookin like Lazarbeam

  41. D.... D....

    You can always rely on Weird Al Yankovic to make a great, funny song 👍😅

  42. F.... m....

    I like this beat now.

  43. J.... S....

    Han Solo’s brother, 100%

  44. M.... C....

    Omg "I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one" 😂🤣😂 I'm dying

  45. E.... ....

    Al made this song almost tolerable.

  46. S.... O....

    They used green screen so many times.

  47. M.... M....

    voice crack 0:10

  48. L.... M....

    "Glue that! Glue that! Screw that! Screw that!"

  49. J.... K....

    Feels like it should be an actual advertisement for a contractor

  50. t.... r....

    This is not a parody. A parody is an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect. Other than the beat and the flow this could easily be any other song. Oops

  51. T.... ....

    I’d let this guy fix anything of mine any day. *DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY!*

  52. W.... A....

    still rock'n my screwdriver got the whole world thinking I'm Mcgyver

  53. O.... S....

    Yo I think Iggy Azalea stole Al's song and made their own.

  54. M.... ....

    Not his best work. Probably because the original wasn't much to write home about.

  55. B.... M....

    Al has a great voice in all seriousness

  56. A.... G....

    sounds like Ruka Ruka Ali's braking bad parody

  57. m.... b....

    I think that he fixed the original song with this parody

  58. R.... T....

    If this was a commercial I'd hire him even if I didn't need anything lmao

  59. l.... ....

    Well, if the women won't find you handsome, at least they'll find you handy.

  60. C.... S....

    1:52 :'D

  61. M.... ....

    mmm, i don't think he could be a blonde

  62. B.... B....

    That deserves a comment and a like

  63. B.... ....

    You're Amazing!!

  64. J.... W....

    If I'm too Sexy isn't your theme then it should at least be this song.

  65. H.... P....

    "If the women don't find you handsome they should find you handy." R. Green

    H.... P....

    Howard Pearcey damn right I can clear the drive and completely redo it in the same day

  66. M.... F....

    Alright what's the phone number

  67. C.... K....

    i`d hire wierd al

  68. B.... D....

    The special effects can’t get much worse than this, and that’s a good thing. It looks like a real commercial for a handyman company.

  69. T.... 2....

    I listen to you so much my mom is so sick of your music

    T.... 2....

    Al's released 14 albums, have you listened to all of them?
    It might make your mom happier if you do.

  70. J.... ....

    Weird Al Snider

  71. S.... D....

    Who else remembers Sneider from One Day at a Time?

  72. 1.... ....

    This would have made a great opening song/ video to Rob Vanwinkle Vanilla Ice's "The Vanilla Ice Project" Home Renovation show.

  73. N.... S....

    We are less than 3 weeks from 2020....
    I was just recommended this video.

  74. A.... T....

    Nice callback to Living in the Fridge

  75. L.... D....

    Peep 2:08 where he actually hammers his thumb

  76. A.... S....

    I like that song the more i wach it

  77. M.... F....

    i really belive that weird al is the best handyman around

  78. S.... C....

    You still got it man!

  79. -.... L....

    @0:21 did he do a lil john, haa?

  80. -.... L....

    "When ur dishwashers bout to 'splode" 😂😂😂 rotfl. Cracks my shit up everytime. & @2:15 gd man 😂😂

  81. s.... S....

    Pls don't screw *that*

  82. p.... L....

    Why do I feel like my Dad would like this?

  83. J.... M....

    Mullumbimby sends its regards.

  84. G.... ....

    That leaf blower knocked that mustache off his face

  85. R.... D....

    What's the original song???

  86. S.... D....

    Anyone else seeing flashes of Matthew McConaughey? 🧐

  87. T.... C....

    It's a shame this is not a real small-town local tv ad.

  88. P.... ....

    I really appreciate that he's dressed as Han Solo...

  89. Q.... M....

    This original song sucked but this is good

  90. I.... S....

    How does Bart Baker have more subs than you?

    I.... S....

    Baker is vulgar, autotuned and greedy.
    Al is creative, talented and asks permission and pays every artist he parodies.
    I agree, it's sad that more people don't know about Weird Al.

  91. E.... M....

    Been a fan of Al's since late night on the Dr. Dimento Show and loved when his videos were on Turkey Television!

  92. c.... ....

    I'll install anything that you want, baby....GIGGITY

  93. J.... D....

    me when i learn anything

  94. K.... D....

    Lyrics and hilarious body language. Love it! Watch UHF if you guys haven't.

  95. K.... D....

    I wish I could like these twice.

  96. C.... M....

    What song does this parody?

  97. C.... C....

    When did Mr. Schneider hook up with the Mario Brothers?

  98. P.... r....

    Commercials in the 90`s like

  99. D.... H....

    Lol😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂