Stevens, Ray - The Haircut Song Lyrics
Well, when you get a haircut, you'd better go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
'Cause you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair
Had to get a haircut and I was worried for my hair
I had a feeling of impending doom the minute I stepped into that room
And laid my eyes upon that barber chair...oh yeah
It was a macho barber shop. Hair dryers were mounted on a rifle rack.
Wasn't no mirrors. The barber chair was a Peterbilt. Barber walked in;
he was huge, seven feet tall, three hundred pounds of spring steel and
rawhide. Wearin' a hard hat, chewin' a cigar, had a t-shirt on - said,
"I hate musicians." Threw me in the chair, sneered and said, "What'll it
be pal?" Now a lot of people would be intimidated in a situation like
songs. I looked him right in the eye and I said, "I'm a logger...just up in Coos Bay, Oregon. Been toppin' trees - quite possibly the toughest
man in the entire world. He said, "All right!" He gave me a haircut and I walked out of there, my hair was gone! Made Kojak look like Bill Golden. Yeah, had a tremendous craving to operate heavy equipment.
Now, you may think that Butte, Montana haircut's the worst any man could ever get...Wrong!
Well, a few months later I was in L.A., truckin' along on a smoggy day
I needed a haircut so bad, I looked like Bozo the Clown
I was looking shaggy, not too good, I'd put it off as long as I could
And Lord, I hate to get a haircut out of town
Well, I walked in immediately and realized immediately that this guy was into punk rock. The walls were done in black leather. Had chains and whips and handcuffs hangin' on 'em. Barber walked in, he had orange hair. Black mascara. Stainless steel teeth. Black leather jacket with zinc studs. He threw me in the chair, hit me a couple times - whap, whap -
chained me down, threw a Nazi flag over me. Said, I'm gonna tell you something might make you a little nervous. I laughed, ha ha ha. I said, "What could possibly make me nervous?" He said, "I'm gay." Nooo problem. I'm not threatened in any way. I mean, I'm secure in my manhood, everything is cool...I am what I am, play my little piano, sing my little songs. I looked him right in the eye. I said, "I'm a logger. Played football in high school. I was in the Marine Corps." He said, "All right," and he gave me a haircut. I walked out of there, friends, my hair was purple. Well, at least that mohawk section down the middle was purple. Had a white streak down one side... other side looked like Mr. T. Had a couple safety pins in my cheeks. Felt a teeny bit conspicuous. Luckily, my next job was in San Fransisco. Shoot, I got up there and I didn't even stand out at all. Wasn't even close! Those people thought I was an insurance salesman!
Well, a few months later, I was way down South, grits and gravy and a-hush your mouth
Hair so long I'm startin' to look like a man in drag
It was then that the sheriff came up and said, "Boy, you got too much hair on your head
You better get yourself a haircut or a dog tag!"
Well, when I stepped into the shop, I realized immediately that I was dealing with a born-again barber. Don't see too many barber shops with a steeple. Had an organ in the corner, a choir...an usher led me to the barber chair. Barber walked in, started saying grace, "Oh Lord, for these haircuts we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful. Dominus possum pax probiscus, post mortem, et tu Brute, puella carborundum. He was sorta half-Baptist, half-Catholic... kind of a Cathtist. He started cuttin' my hair and preachin' at the same time. I
mean he's a wild man, scissors and razors a-flyin' around my head, he's talkin' about the liquor and wild women and music and sex and the evils of dancing and the music business in general. Then he looked down at me and he said, "What do you do for a living?" Now, I'm not ashamed of what I do for a livin'. Workin' bars and casinos, around liquor and wild women, I just play my piano, sing my little songs. I looked him right in the eye and I said, "I run this church for loggers..."
When you get a haircut, be sure to go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
Or you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Stevens, Ray - Gone For Good
- Stevens, Ray - I Got Stoned And I Missed It
- Stevens, Ray - I'm My Own Grandpaw
- Stevens, Ray - If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus
- Stevens, Ray - If You Like Your Plan
- Stevens, Ray - Indian Love Call
- Stevens, Ray - Jambalaya
- Stevens, Ray - Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting Pleasant-Tasting Green And Purple Pills
- Stevens, Ray - Let's Do It Right This Time
- Stevens, Ray - Mary Lou Nights
- Stevens, Ray - Me
- Stevens, Ray - Melissa
- Stevens, Ray - Misty
- Stevens, Ray - Moonlight Special
- Stevens, Ray - Hugo The Human Cannonball
- Stevens, Ray - Harry The Hairy Ape
- Stevens, Ray - United We Stand
- Stevens, Ray - All The Way
Rand Lyrics
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Stevens, Ray The Haircut Song Comments
Always loved Ray Stevens.... He is so talented.
Bonnie owens
He has the same voice as Rhett from Rhett and Link
He kinda looks like ray comfort
Yea, I did!
Ain't this the truth. When I was 18, I wanted to try one that was close in town as my dad always took me to one 10 miles away and I didn't want to drive 20 miles for a haircut... Never had a hair part done in my life till that day... It'll be a sad day for when they retire... May also be the day I go bald and or attempt to do my own hair.
Leave it up to Mr. Stevens! What an imagination he has.....as always!
NO ONE LIKE HIM. THE BEST ♥️♥️♥️🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶😂😂😂😂😂😂
That is the truth
That is the truth
I got a haircut in southern Kentucky. The really cut it short. Wow I asked for a trim!!!.
Here is one of my country music singer singing one of my favorite song of all-time.
....get a haircut,or a dog tag!👍🇺🇸👏
Never heerded this wun.
I first heard this song just as I was leaving Butte, Montana. Also I have a niece who cuts hair in Butte.
That was ANOTHER good song I had heard from Ray Stevens when I was younger
I could see shaving cream for slime!!!
I love Ray Stevens I met him he was so nice I sat on his lap and had my picture made
lucky you so want to meet this man he is sooo funny
Y did u sit on lap
@Come and Take it beto Well duuh because barbras a cat
Oh my goodness lmbo👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😛🤣😂🤣😂🤣might need stitches once I stop laughing 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Very good one
Did the barber cut Ray's hair with the chainsaw?
No sir it's battery operated handheld hedge clipper slash Grass trimmer
Everyone is talking about how the second verse is missing, but that's distracting from the wardrobe change between 1:55 and 1:59.
As some people have mentioned on here, the 2nd verse is missing from this music video as it was cut down for time. Even as it was released in its single-version, the runtime is still 4 minutes, which is pretty long for a comedy single. The choice was made to edit a verse out for the music video which also helped keep the production costs down. This is a pretty common practice as many songs have a single-version which is shorter for videos & airplay. Thank you!
Still, great fun and great memories .... thank you mr Stevens. Now to look for the Blue Cyclone...👍👍
raystevensmusic - Mr. Ray Stevens you are my favorite comedian singer of all time. I can listen to your songs for hours upon hours. Keep up the good work!! 😂😂🇺🇸🇺🇸🦌🦌📽️
I want my barber chair to be a peterbilt
Who are his backup singers?
When are you coming back to Bremen Georgia.
He is so funny!!
some one here does not fucking love the skin of the got dam Solomon !
You have great humor in every song
Exit
The best Thi
The only reason
p
Lmbo 🙃🕸😊🕸❤🕸🎹🕸❤🕸☮❤
I heard that back in the late '80s.I AM from Coos Bay,Oregon.Loved it.We do have alot of trees here.Sadly,our lumber,trucking and papermills are long gone.We still have loggers here.
I bought this cassette in Woolworth's in (are you ready for this?) Butte, Montana
Gale Miller lol
lookin for hair cut
I love all of his songs
"I run this church for loggers". That line killed me, I'm still laughing about it :D
What do you do for a living aaahhh
Credit to Harrison Roberts
2.45 hahaha
still funny after all these years! Love ya, Ray!
David Sain
Oh yeah! I have listened to Ray Stevens since I was a kid. It's ridiculous how over-sensitive people have gotten. All those old cartoons with their portrayals of the races at the time? I laugh my head off at them cuz of how ridiculous the point of view was back then.
Watch the video..........
don't get your haircut in Butte Montana!! lol I love that part because I live only 30 miles from Butte
I have a niece that cuts hair in Butte (I'm from Ronan)
Love that Ray Stevens!
sj I we're nso we so s dpajed
Is is just me, or is some of the song missing??? I thought it was longer. IDK, js.
+wildstreak73 it is its missing the punk rocker
XD ALL OF RAY STEVEN'S IS SOOOO FUNNNY!!!!!
A captist? And i thought i was the only one ;) Seriously though, this song is the truth. If i didnt live so close to Coos Bay, OR. i'd go back to my childhood barber!
I want the "I HATE MUSICIANS" T-shirt.
sandy Kay Ballard Ray Steve
CabbitSD should say I Hate Democrats
Left out the second verse:
A few month's later I was in LA
Truckin along on a smoggy day
My hair so long I was startin to look like Bozo the Clown.
I was lookin shaggy, not too good
I put it off as long as I could
Lord I hate to get a haircut out of town.
When I stepped into the shop I realized that this guy was into punk rock
The wall were done in Black leather,
Had chains and whips and handcuffs
The barber walked in, he had orange hair, Black mascara, stainless steel teeth,
Black leather jacket with zinc studs.
He threw me in the chair, hit me a couple of times, "whap, whap"
Chained me down, threw a Nazi flag over me.
He said, "Boy I'm gonna tell you something that might make you a little nervous."
I laughed "a-ha-ha-ha" I said, "What could possibly make me nervous."
He said, "I'm gay!"
No problem, I'm not threatened in possible way. I mean I'm secure in my manhood
I am what I am play my piano sing my little songs.
I looked him right in the eye and said, "I'm a logger.
"Played football in high school. I was in the Marine Corps."
He said Alright and gave me a haircut.
I walked out of there, my hair was purple.
At least that mohawk section down the middle was purple.
Had a white streak going down one side
The other side looked like Mister T.
Had a couple safety pins in my cheeks
Felt a teeny bit conspicuous. Luckily my next job was in San Francisco
Shoot I got up there and didn't stand out at all
Wasn't even close. Most people thought I was an insurance salesman.
You're RIGHT - I reckon they plum FORGOT to add this IN!
loved hearing the song again i knew that verse was missing
I'm a barber in Joplin, Mo., Ray! Come see me, I promise to take good care of ya :)
@Jason Platner Btw, I'm a born again Christian, but we have to keep that kind of talk out of the shop nowadays, you know. They've got us Christians walking on egg shells in this day and age! Are they going to bury that part of our Constituion with wherever they buried or burned the evidence of the Civil War??
Going to regret asking, but, how in the hell are you walking on eggshells because of being a Christian in your own private business. As long as you don't discriminate, use your religion to harm others, or try to shove it down other people's throat, nobody cares. The US is predominantly Christian. By a huge margin.
Me too Fallon NV
Bring the 3 cuties with ya, and stop by my place...I just wanna feast my eyes on some HUMAN/Pretty females for a change... a dying breed here in the Carolinas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or dog tag..... XD
If ya ever find yourself getting a haircut in a church, always remember to tip generously. XD
elfofcourage and don't bring a watch
11 people need a haircut
Yup, why was the 2nd verse cut?
It matches the radio-edit that appears on the 45rpm vinyl single in 1985. If you have his 1985 LP, "I Have Returned", it features the middle verse intact but radio wanted an edited copy because the LP's copy ran more than 6 minutes and so the visit to the barber in Los Angeles was edited out. Radio stations insisted on an edited copy of The Blue Cyclone, too...and that particular radio edit appears on the 1987 "Greatest Hits, Volume 2" album (he's dressed as a baseball player on the cover).
I think people did NOT like that one as much as the 1st ad 3rd versions of this song
Did anyone see the skin remover O_O?
You can get this at Lowe’s. It’s called Zip Strip
top :))
Wolfgang F. See
My guess, the song was too long to make a video so they cut the middle I have the CD and with the part with the gay barber, the song is a little over 6 min long
Oh, MY! I've already heard 3 songs that lasted THIS long (or LONGER): Margaritaville (Jimmy Buffet), The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (Gordon LightfootI), and American Pie (Don McLean)
I think they removed that bit cause certain people where offended by it
Ever heard FreeBird? I think the P.C. police won out.
Probably cut due to YouTube rules. . Probably cant say GAY anymore lol
This makes me think of the haircuts I got in China!
Yeah it was a punk rock nazi
This seems different from the version I heard back in the 70's or 80's.
That one had more verses to it that included other barbers.
"Most people thought I was an insurance salesman."
Half Catholic, half Baptist. Love it!
I wished the vid was of the full song or there is a part b and c He is so funny. Love listening to him. He's the best
i started cutting my own hair 30 years ago, let my brother's GF cut it once, big mistake!
nice one ray!
SOME people are GOOD hair cutters - OTHERS, pray for YOURSELF!
The album cut featured a visit to three barbers. The second barber visited was into punk rock and a whole lot of other things. The visit to the second barber was edited out when the song was issued as a single.
1/2 Baptist, 1/2 Catholic, now that would make you a Baptolic.
Wasn't there another version with an additional barber?
JOELDSDLR j
Don't be cruel
I think THIS was it - I think it ONLY had 3 barbers
LOVE IT RAY!! YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BAD DAY 1,000 TIMES BETTER!!