Sandler, Adam - The Goat Song Lyrics
I am a simple goat
I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he don't give a fuck
He's filled with anger, and filled with rage
And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, Jimmy Bean
His chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
That's when the beatings get so severe
Asleep I pray he falls
But don't feel sorry for me
Things weren't always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
I come from the hills of Europe
That's where I met the Old Man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can
Then he stopped in his tracks
And he said, "Hey Goat!
Would you like to live with me?
I've got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea"
I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family
You seem like a nice guy"
So we went off to America
The home of the apple pie
On the boat, the Old Man told me
I would be a present for his wife
"A talking goat!" he exclaimed,
"She'd never seen this in her life"
I felt so special!
Well, I just couldn't believe it
After all theses years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard
He scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end
But when we got to his house
There was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said: "I'm leaving you for your broher
Because he fucks me better"
His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief
To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old Granddad
And beat me like a side of beef
I screamed, "Send me back to the hills of Europe!"
He just shook his head and said, "Nope!
No one will ever leave me again
To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope."
Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years
My only friend is the AM radio
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw
At first they're excited to see a talking goat
They gather around to hear what I have to say
But I guess sometimes my stories go ont too long
So they leave and giggle I need a bidet
But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
When the Old Man was passed out drunk
Three neightborhood kids took me to a rock 'n roll concert
The kind of music, old-school funk
It was the first time I got off the truck
The music made me lose control
The lead singer asked if we were having fun
I said, "Fucking crank that rock 'n roll!"
The women at the show were beautiful
As they danced sexily on the soft grass
One of them even petted my fur
Fuck me in the goat-ass!
Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
And threw me in the mosh pit
They passed me around and treated me nie
Till I nerviously sprayed them with shit
Then the music stopped
And everything was quite
And all the rock 'n rollers started a fucking goat-riot
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
They chased me under the bleachers
They chased me onto the street
They chased me into an alley
And said I was a dead fucking goat meat
But then I saw a sight
That I never thought I'd see
The Old Man swinging his hickory stick
But he wasn't swinging at me
"Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys!
Don't you press your luck!"
The long hairs ran away screaming
As I scrambled onto the truck
When we got home, the Old Man said,
"Goat, you broke the sacred law
No! Please! Sorry! Shit!
I'll let it go this time, but if you leave again
I'll break your fucking jaw!"
Super! Great! Okay!
"Thank you Old Man, for saving my life
Thank you again and again
You could have let them barbeque me,
But you acted like a friend"
"I'm not your friend, I don't even like you
I'm just not drunk," he said
To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
And beat the fucking shit out of my tailbone
And I'll probably never walk straight again
I guess you'd call me a scapegoat
A punching bag for the Old Man to mock
Just because his wife left him
For his brother's abnormally large cock
He could have been my buddy
But instead he's a crazy old fuck
And, once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
The back of the pick-up truck
Goodnight, Old Man!
Yeah, goodnight Goat!
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Sandler, Adam - The Mayor Of Pussytown
- Sandler, Adam - Rescue Animals
- Sandler, Adam - Mr. Slo Mo
- Sandler, Adam - Uber Driver
- Sandler, Adam - Diabetes
- Sandler, Adam - Know A Guy
- Sandler, Adam - Hula Hoop
- Sandler, Adam - Mini-Golf
- Sandler, Adam - Wrong
- Sandler, Adam - Marriage Mystery
- Sandler, Adam - Rake
- Sandler, Adam - Everywhere
- Sandler, Adam - Books
- Sandler, Adam - 4:30
- Sandler, Adam - 101
- Sandler, Adam - Grandma Died
- Sandler, Adam - Shower
- Sandler, Adam - Asswipe
Rand Lyrics
Last Posts
Beyonce Shakes the Internet with Surprise Super Bowl Tease and New Music Release
Beyoncé once again set the digital world abuzz with her latest musical surprise. In an unforgettable move during the Super Bowl, a Verizon commercial served...Watch Usher’s Full Super Bowl 2024 Halftime Performance Usher, Alicia Keys, Jermaine Dupri, Ludacris,
At the 2024 Super Bowl, Usher redefined the halftime show with a dazzling, career-highlight performance that will be remembered for years to come. Taking the...Usher Unveils ‘Coming Home’: A Journey Through Sound and Soul in His Latest Album
Spanning three decades in the music industry, Usher has consistently mesmerized fans with his soulful tunes and magnetic performances. However, his most recent project, Coming...
Sandler, Adam The Goat Song Comments
This makes me glad goats can’t talk
If you cant laugh at this... well, I feel sorry for your goat.
I'm not your fawwriend, I dont even like you! Im just not drunk he said.
I died with laughter at 11 years old....20 years later I can still sing every lyric, and laugh just like I did back then.
People can hate but this shit was funny and original. Now and days if it ain't making fun of the president it ain't funny. Adam sandler,Jeff foxworthy, cledus t Judd, act. They were great.
i used to have this memorized, and even decades later it all floods back and i can sing every word along - classic
I love this....
I just realized the old man was Farely.
no, farley was gone by then
Freemasons worship satan stonebuilders of babel they worship HORUS HOURS an egyptian sun god stopthe sundial sun god worship of sunday your energy is turned into negative energy and sent to the sun god horus......GOAT IS THE TRUE NAME OF GEOMTREY MASONS ARE WHO BUILT TOWER OF BABEL
He was like put up your dukes and I'm like I got fucking no Dukes
This is why you say no to drugs. Unless you think like this when sober, then you need a lot of strong shit.
Adam Sandler presents The Goat Movie
Rated R.
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Still makes me chuckle after all these years.
this song is so funny
This song is a classic. I remember listening to this album in my friend's astro conversion van. What a trip back in time.
Down by the river?
This song is written like a play.
Does anyone know who does the voice of the old man? Am I crazy or does it sound like Chris Farley?
It was Adam Sandler... Farley would never beat a goat!
Haven't heard this since I was like 10 haha fucking awesome
10 yr old me....
lol Sam Walton used drive a old pick-up when he was still he was still alive. Reminds me of my days at Walmart.lol
Waiting for a goat movie
This should be reworded for that mayor of Toronto. Rob something, was his name and a command I suppose
Jester or French mym
Go back to sleep old man! You’ve got a long day of drinking...and beating the f*^< outta me tomorrow.
Not my fav. But his Audio recordings were the best ! Wish there was more !
His first , there all gonna laugh at you was the best ! Toll booth willie , fatty McGee , etc
This song is astonishingly terrible and has no redeeming characteristics. It's amazing what used to go on albums back in the nineties.
Jon Cornell Yes, thank you for your input. 🙄
It's a comedy album dipshit, not dark side of the moon.
I guess you didn't hear the original skit with the talking goat. You obviously don't get that this is a comedy song. It's part of a skit, ya doofus.
Jon Cornell who the fuck asked you
Oh I’m sorry, I don’t see any of your songs on YouTube.
luv this album.. wish adam would do some new stuff just as ridiculously funny as this..
I have always thought Adam Sandlers music career was a lot better than his movie career, to bad not many people know about his music because it is actually in my opinion much funnier than his movies.
drummingdyl the wedding singer alone proves he can sing
I have been able to recite this song since it was released years ago. It's a long and silly song, so it's fun to recite and challenge myself if I can remember it in it's entirety. If there's any time that I need to make 9 minutes pass by, I will sing this in my head and it the time goes by so fast. Now that I have a child, I will improvise the words with anything he knows at the time and it's a great foundation to build from, until he nervously sprays me with shit-ah.
Joey Warren hows the kid hahah
@charles-olivier Marchand Let me call Chris Hansen
15 people lost their wives to their brother
angelo diaz more like 54.
One of the best songs of all time, comedy or not, it's a fucking classic!
I love this song. It's like a play.
NO. PLEASE. HOLY SHIT!!!!!
NO. PLEASE. *SORRY. SHIT!!!!!
i Love Adam Sandler. i Love the Movie Calles "The Grown Ups"
Ya and I love happy Gilmore and Billy Madison
Is this a screaming goat? Or fainting goat
joe b definitely a screaming goat. fainting goats are pussys.
A fainting screaming goat
i'm gonna beat your head in with a hickory stick
Sometimes he uses his fists.
And tells me I smell of pissss-a
Lol it's brobably Cubs manager
Adam Sandler appeals to everyone's inner idiot.
And he beat me like a side of beef
GOODNIGHT OLD MAN
@Thrice Moist Goodnight Goat.
Good night goat.
i screamed send me back to the hills of Europe he just shook his head and said NOPE XD
Still know every word and I haven't heard it in 15 years! Too bad Adam Sandler hasn't been funny in 10 years!!
I though that Adam sandler was good in the movie That's My Boy.
@Super Fudge same here, but still cant remember to put my underwear on every day, and im an underwear model.
I love Adam Sandler