samsa - tinder samurai Lyrics






I like to think I'm well-equipped as any other average guy
But I just can't discover love and I don't even set my standards high
On top of that, I'm camera shy, maybe I should opt-out of the dating pool
And be an undercover tinder samurai

Cause I would rather type online than whisper in a dingy bar
And swiping left and right could be my new bushido ninja star
I'm well-versed in virtual lovemaking ninjutsu
On every profile pic I post, I'm posing with my shitzu
Or flexing with my shirt off cause I heard that gets you hits too

Especially OkCupid, I'm like Eros or the cherubs be
I pierce hearts of women with my cursor and my arrow keys
And disregard my Roman roots and choose a font that's serif-free

Trust me

I'm a tinder bio brainiac
The way I kindle fire with matches, I'm a pyromaniac
On christian mingle, I'm a casanova
If ya'll don't think so, y'all can ask Jehovah
Check your inbox, he might send an answer over

I wish I had the muscles of a granite sculpture
I would log on ashleymadison and bang adulterers
I'm so lonely, I've considered farmers-only
Just for someone's arms to hold me
Also, I'm really big on agriculture

But if I had that body of a grecian God
I would trawl on pof.com and use it as a fishing rod
And hope I don't get catfish
The fact is if I did, I'd probably play along cause God knows I could use the practice

And if I'm aching for my roots, I'd visit shaadi.com
Message islamic wahhabi hijabi hotties "salaam"
And sunni, shia, those are both denominations I respect
Cause I just care for our connection

I don't care about the sects

Sometimes I uninstall my apps in reckless insurrectious rage
Then regret it while I check the craiglist missed connections page
Then I think that I should get out more and disregard my mobile cell
Get to know the local teller at my barnes and noble well
And check out what she's reading while she's charging up my total sale
And ask her if she likes the novel
And once she answers, ask her if wants to grab some coffee or some ice cream waffles
She'd probably say that's awesome

I'd ask her when she's off of work

She might answer "midnight"

I'd tell her that sounds awful

What a bummer, and from somewhere
I might muster up the nerve to get her number

And I would ask her what her digits are
And if I play it right then I can disregard my ninja stars
Say sayonara to katanas and my other weapons too
And try committing by committing online dating seppuku





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samsa tinder samurai Comments
  1. J.... S....

    Nirri Agg

  2. S.... ....

    not gonna lie

    S.... ....

    that was fire

  3. D.... D....

    you have to be super lonely to use farmers only

  4. F.... ....

    Samsa, you help me get through the day ever single day man. Your songs are incredible. I hope to see you return one day <3

  5. d.... d....

    i dont know why but i feel more soul in samsa's music more than some other ones, not saying that they make songs that DON'T take dedication

  6. V.... K....

    You just reading

  7. J.... R....

    Bro dude I feel like you did the best job on this song I have heard nothing like it good job. Cya later bro

  8. w.... x....

    Come back ;c

  9. A.... F....

    Samsa is so underrated

  10. _.... K....

    Do u have merch?

  11. X.... ....

    Yo i listen so samsa when i am upset and i feel better when i do

    X.... ....

    Xxgreen_aura_wolfxX bro I miss him so much

  12. B.... 3....

    This is what rapping should be, poetry, good beat, real art

  13. S.... ....

    when he says " and choose a font thats serif-free, trust me" he actually says " and choose a life thats Sarah free, just please" because sarah is is ex girlfiend who stole all his friends, social media followers and self esteem.


    FUCK YOU SARAH

  14. L.... t....

    love u samsa couldve been the next person who owned this world lol

  15. J.... m....

    I don't know if you'll see this Samsa. But, this song keeps my head up. No matter how depressed I am...thank you for everything you've done in your music career. Always love your music. My future kids gonna be jamming to your music. 💜

  16. m.... !....

    Killed it im now a fan LMAOO

    m.... !....

    it's too late

    m.... !....

    @Felix LCH pretty much

    m.... !....

    @miles !! he's go n e :-:

  17. M.... ....

    This is different from everything I heard before... and I love it <3

  18. M.... H....

    So relatable

  19. S.... C....

    I love this

  20. c.... m....

    Damn...... I love your vids, many of them are relateble. Lol. Your music help me on a daily basis, i have tinnitus (a constant ringing in ears) i sleep with the music, hear it going to school and everything, it takes away my ringing in my ears. I would love it if you got more famous, i am sure more people who has the tinnitus needs it. I have shared it to many of my friends. Love your tunes/tones/whatever it is called.

  21. J.... S....

    Shit man hes got the wordplay of em, the beats of drake and the voice of a god this is fuckin amazing

  22. S.... T....

    I love you

  23. k.... d....

    This describes me..

  24. T.... ....

    It's been 2 years since you've helped out with my radio show (you were my favorite artist at the time). I've long since moved on past radio and so have you. I wish you all the best man. Thanks for helping the little guy

  25. B.... ....

    Sub to me pls

  26. A.... B....

    Just came here to say that your music is awesome. You use a quite different and rich vocabulary that sounds quite fresh when compared to all the popular stuff u hear about weed, lean, bitches, drugs, alcohole etc. etc. It's unfortunate that you retired. I hope you're doing well man. Much love.

    - Have a nice day

  27. M.... A....

    Come back

  28. L.... S....

    Damn Samsa, great wordplay dude. Keep up the hard work!

  29. H.... P....

    I miss ya samsa ;~;

  30. c.... t....

    “I would trawl on pof.com and use it as a fishing rod
    And hope I don’t get catfish”

    This man is a wordplay genius!

  31. K.... K....

    I am so friggin' glad I found this!!! Your lyrics are so clever and the delivery is so smooth. And your voice is soothing. Just GREAT! :)

  32. B.... H....

    casaanovah? is that a Jake and Amir reference?

  33. m.... s....

    Great song ❤️

  34. C.... H....

    Alll time best lyricist.

  35. B.... w....

    Here before 160k viewers

  36. M.... H....

    Bro this song is Lovely you should pair up with Atlas to make a Lovely song

    M.... H....

    Its actually pretty cool they already have here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cfuubfAs3M

  37. C.... B....

    Just listening to this is like reminding me about the 6 times I’ve been rejected

  38. W.... G....

    Glad I found this at random. Thanx

  39. C.... ....

    last song I listened to in 2k18 and the first I listened to in 2k19 👌

  40. J.... B....

    Whose here from dakotaz stream?

  41. c.... ....

    I’m here from dakotaz stream omg your musics dope asf!

  42. D.... B....

    Dakotaz brought me here <3

  43. J.... O....

    this is hilarious

  44. C.... S....

    From DK stream

  45. L.... ....

    1:18 loved this part

  46. C.... S....

    we just miss you bro :'(

    C.... S....

    What happend ??

  47. D.... J....

    Yo Samsa dope music and lyric, your rhyme man is out of this world keep it up.

  48. C.... Y....

    dark army?

  49. N.... C....

    Dk sent me here 🙏🏼.

  50. d.... ....

    Reminds me of Atlas

  51. H.... P....

    Its just nostalgic for me......

  52. J.... ....

    looks like the stars are dodging him like the joke

  53. y.... ....

    LMAO DAB DAB who is watching in 2018 *dabs* uWu

  54. l.... d....

    When I hear you rap samsa, I get excited in a really chill way.

  55. J.... �....

    tinder $amurai

  56. t.... ....

    This song is so relatable it’s crazy. So deep into my own thoughts and battle with my inner demons that the only real form of interaction I have with others in terms of intimate relations are through these apps. But one day I’ll be able to defeat these negative thoughts plaguing me and take a similar step he mentions later on in the song.

  57. o.... g....

    I love it

  58. A.... M....

    True definition of Rhythm Assisted Poetry

  59. D.... ....

    omg you did not just add a rain track into the background, that's dope. 10/10 best channel

  60. r.... b....

    Samsa's voice sounds so good ♡

  61. L.... ....

    90proof

  62. A.... E....

    W O A H

  63. L.... B....

    It's so freaking fresh how he free styles like this

  64. R.... E....

    Can I use this for a short skit I'm working on?

  65. H.... B....

    here because i have a good taste in music 😛

  66. R.... C....

    Cool artist and channel

  67. M.... 1....

    CaptainSparklez here

  68. P.... O....

    Here from Captainsparklez I'm guessing ????

  69. R.... S....

    I’m so happy I found this song 😀😀

  70. D.... ....

    Anybody else come here from captain sparkles

  71. J.... L....

    I come from the Captain......

  72. C.... I....

    Was watching Jardun and saw this in his reddit video, and was curious. Now that I'm here, this is kinda cool, and chill. Interesting to hear the words, and feel his flow. I'll definitely be back :b

  73. D.... S....

    Literally only here because of captainsprakles

  74. G.... K....

    came from sparkles video and i regret exposing my ears to hot garbage. gonna take a month the bleach this shit out

  75. A.... C....

    Like and reply if you are from jardon maron

    A.... C....

    Fuck yourself in the ass

  76. I.... D....

    Came from Captainsparklez, stayed for the beat

  77. C.... a....

    Came from Captain Sparklez video.

  78. K.... ....

    When I saw this on CaptainSparklez’s video I expected some samurai who goes on tinder, was disappointed.

    K.... ....

    I've seen so many comments saying this, I came from him too,
    You are the first person to spell captainsparklez correctly, the others being "captain sparkles"
    Congratz

  79. C.... P....

    whos here from jardon

  80. B.... ....

    Who here is from captian sparkles video

    B.... ....

    Skuxx_Boi totally but I'm into this guys flow.

    B.... ....

    yeah same

    B.... ....

    Skuxx_Boi me

    B.... ....

    Captainsparklez
    One word, Z on the end instead of S

  81. A.... E....

    Captain sparklez anyone

    A.... E....

    Ali Elouzeir yes

    A.... E....

    What video?

  82. M.... W....

    Who else is here from Captain Sparkles

  83. D.... N....

    I feel the same about the first part

  84. M.... K....

    Sent by sp00klez

    M.... K....

    Major Kittense same

    M.... K....

    which video was it?

    M.... K....

    Oh boi I have no idea fam, 2 months back in youtube videos is way too far for my memory lol.

  85. p.... b....

    Im only here because of jordan ( captainsparklez )

    p.... b....

    What video

    p.... b....

    https://youtu.be/9rnwh79XHgU

  86. N.... N....

    Who's here from Jardon's reddit video?

    N.... N....

    me too xd :D

    N.... N....

    Nelli Nieminen *Jaeoroneadon

    N.... N....

    Which video was this?

    N.... N....

    Which one

  87. T.... S....

    The story of my life 15:00

  88. T.... S....

    I saw this from captain sparkles

    T.... S....

    Sans The Skeleton what video

    T.... S....

    Where, exactly?

    T.... S....

    @Anth
    Story of my life

    T.... S....

    ​ Gio Games Story of my life

    T.... S....

    Wtf?!??

  89. T.... s....

    Jordan send me here

  90. Z.... ....

    The captain sends well wishes!

    Z.... ....

    Zaid yes he does

  91. P.... G....

    This song calms me down everytime

  92. R.... m....

    Fucking weirdos