Rucka Rucka Ali - History Of Philosophy Rap Lyrics






Asians
Asians
Asians
Asians
Asians

Were the first to philosophize
Unorganized confused shit
Like Confucious or the fat giggling Buddhist
Who said life is suffering and through the centuries
Suffering is all Asians did but in Greece

Intellectual chimpanzees were putting things in order
Thales put his banana down and said everything is water
Which is dumb but to tie it all together is what he tried
It's not watered its fire said the nigga Heraclitus

And that's the kind of shit
That occupied the Athen nation
Tying everything together
Its called integration

Pythagoras said everything is numbers and a theorem
But there's more to life than numbers so no one wanted to hear 'em

Zeno said there's no such thing as change
(He got Rekt)
But we know he invented the debate or dialectic
When there was democracy there was Democritus
He was wrong about some shit
But they still they called him dad of science

Does the end justify the means
Thrasymachus said yeah
But tell that to someone dying for some else's idea
And that's the fate of Socrates
Convicted for corrupting little boys
And for democracy, he drank fucking poison

The Boys in Socrate's class were mostly fake and gay though
But the first to build a system of philosophy was Plato
He said this world isn't real
But there's a world of forms
Where everything is perfect
He was fucking wrong

But they thought he was right
So his work was taught and saved
Ironically which led the west back into a cave
But he paved the way for his student
With the system model
Just the realest nigga ever to exist
Aristotle

He wanted explanation for the shit Plato told him
And he wrote it all down pwn'd Plate like a clown
All the bullshit Plato said
Stotle asked how
His metaphysics still hurts
Plato's ass now

Aristotle wasn't perfect but he gave us laws of logic
Which gave us shit like Playstation 1's and Apple Watches
All the cool shit you got thank Aristotle's mother
Which is more than anybody did back when the words were uttered

Nobody gave a fuck
Yeah fuck what he was saying
They was busy eating gyros
Wrestling naked being gay

Like Epicurus told 'em Avoid all pain
The Stoics were like Nah to much pleasure is vain
They said be serious focus on what you're doing
But they also pushed away the happines worth pursuing

And the skeptics
Ancient neck beard MGTOW'S
They said you can't know shit
Wrong then gay now

As time passed Plato's influence increased
Philo brought him to the jews
Enter Christianity
Augustine cemented Plato to the west in written pages
Placing faith over reason bringing in the dark ages

And poor Aristotle dismissed in his day
No one gave a fuck about his jam and it was cast away
And his fuckin name forgotten by a world that shit on him
Until he was discovered by, a Muslim

Al-Ma'mun translated him from Greek
And began a golden era when religion let you think
But reason was rejected by this guy Al-Ghazali
Which is probably why today Islam is not to fucking jolly

He decided tryna mix faith and reason was retarded
So he threw the precious work of Aristotle in the garbage
The enlightenment of the Arabs was over and Departed
But in Europe Tom Aquinas was like I'm just getting started

He learned of Aristotle from this Jewish guy Maimonides
And he got it from a Mooslam Averroes
If ever these three religions found common ground
It's in placing reason over faith living hear and now

The sound of reason cut the silence of the Middle Ages
As pages filled with logic scrutinizing God himself
And the changes made some clergy nervous but it was too late
Because the dumbest shit they ever did was the let the artist paint

Human beauty was depicted love and sex celebrated
Life on Earth is the standard heaven could wait and Shit
And though Christ was the one being painted
Religion didn't know it was being de-fanged and shit

That was the Renaissance then came the Enlightenment
The other Greek philosophers were studied with excitement
Now the truth could be discovered by no other means than reason
But then shit got more divided than the South and North Koreans

A group of new philosophers one of whom was Locke
Said you can't trust your mind but your senses and your cock
Know reality so don't thank too much you little bitch
The philosophers who said this are called empiricists

On the other side of this dichotomy of mind and body
Descartes and all his Niggas said your senses could be naughty
You could only trust your mind to know what is and isn't
This school of philosophy is rationalism

That's when philosophy became a shit storm
Scientists no longer thought philosophy was for 'em
It didn't help philosophy to spare itself the damage
When Rousseau was talking bout how true nobility is savage

Philosophers of body vs philosophers of mind
All misguided but the truth is that the truth they tried to find
See they all respected reason they each wanted to have it
But then Kant said reason, reason is a faggot

He modernized Plato's world of forms from before
Causing reason and reality its'self to go to war
He tried to fix the mind and body split but only made it bigger
Cuz reality requires you to reason my nigga

Now that reality and reason were divorced
Everone had to pick one at fuck whatever cost
Trying to understand the world became a fucking headache
Hegel said reality and logic are synthetic

Marx pushed reason even farther away
In fact, he said reality depends on how close you're to a factory
If philosophy ended the Age of darkness
It was now layin the blueprints for retarded shit

Nietzsche loved power and strength
But it's not reaching or a strength saying he inspired nazis
Superman's something that Nietzsche gave us
But too bad he saw people as masters and slaves

Who were free now in America land of Thomas pain
Who brought over the Enlightenment from Europe he explained
The right of man is to be free because thats his fucking nature
When the Germans came no one saw the fucking danger

Royce and his boys turned to Hegel for the basics
Dewey said your mind doesn't learn shit it creates it
Students went to Germany brought shit back and spread it
Which is why today's smartest post retarded shit on Reddit

No reason to reason now that nothing could be known
Pragmatism said take action and Follow your emotions
Kids trained to have coherence of a mental patient
This was the birth of progressive education

Integration no longer required
Postmodernism said that your mind could retire
Religion made a comeback tribalism too
Cuz without reason there's just feelings and the group

Without philosophy scientists, can't resist oriental mystics
Claiming their shit is legit
Recycled anti-rationals repeating the same motions
Alleged men of science invoking their emotions

John Rawls said we all should be the same Social Justice is morality
Philosophy became a game of bullshit and semantics that no one understands
And nobody gives a fuck about except for Ayn Rand

The last of the Enlightenment she tied mind and body and reality to reason
Which is great except nobody intellectual would give a fuck
Professors wouldn't budge
They must have their reasons but history will judge





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Rucka Rucka Ali History Of Philosophy Rap Comments
  1. B.... P....

    Nietzsche wasn't a nihilist. Only people that misunderstand him think that.

  2. R.... 1....

    I love the “What is winning?” In the end

  3. S.... ....

    nice to find one of these videos where i can actually understand what they're saying without pausing the video every 5 seconds to read the subtitles.

  4. T.... g....

    thats cool and all but Oppenheimer beat Thanos

  5. J.... M....

    That really Timothy Delaghetto?? Lol

  6. C.... 4....

    Nietzsche

  7. Z.... N....

    Best one out of the entire lot!!

  8. Q.... M....

    Jin and Timmy D!!!

    Yes, it took me 4 and a half years to figure that out.

  9. C.... C....

    I came here cuz I’m confused about the enlightenment and this explained better than my teacher

  10. L.... ....

    Voltaire had the best line in all of this, but I’d love a round 2.

  11. M.... S....

    shit went dumb...founded

  12. A.... P....

    western phiosophers won this battle

  13. J.... K....

    What is winning???!

  14. T.... ....

    Socrates won it all with his first verses ngl

  15. S.... A....

    Confuciousss !!!!

  16. p.... ....

    One of my favorite things in this battle is how Nietzsche vibrates angrily after Socrates told him to suck his dick 😅

  17. a.... i....

    Another one of the first ones I saw. Everybody lost and it was epic lol.
    *edit* Just watched this again. Nietzsche (cut and paste his name) won this N.I.E.T.Z.S.C.H.E.

    "What is winning!" lol

  18. S.... ....

    Confucius: "I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat."

    Confucius' hat: Nobody look at me.

  19. M.... A....

    "White boys about to get burned becuase guess what, now the suns out."


    It's the little things that convince me God exist or some higher intelligence. Not to let humanity know they exist of course, just so Epic Rap Battles of History could exist and someday bring peace to the world through harsh disses.

  20. T.... Y....

    true Artist of War: destroyer of both teams

  21. T.... P....

    About at the end "What is Winning?". How does being a better speaker, better thinker, and/or better lover make you a better man? Speaking, thinking, and love making, no matter how impressive, tells me *nothing* about a person's moral and ethical qualities. Note the "me no third reichy" to Nietzsche and "rigged the lottery" and "make a mockery of ethics" to Voltaire. So why should I believe good speaking, thinking, and love-making automatically translates into being more ethical and moral?

  22. B.... A....

    That B Franks scheme was the most wild scheme I've ever heard from ERB. Like. Bruh.

  23. C.... H....

    This is still one of the sickest beats ERB has ever rapped to.

  24. R.... F....

    ill make you move bitch , get out the way

  25. B.... ....

    Here in 2019 still honoring the ass-whipping

  26. M.... o....

    What is winning?

  27. D.... V....

    Me no third reichy 😂😂😂

  28. D.... G....

    I just got that respect line from after a unit on Chinese Philosophy

  29. P.... -....

    Confucius wins.

  30. E.... C....

    Eastern Philosophers won

  31. m.... p....

    I love the beat to this one

  32. J.... S....

    I can't begin to put into words how much I love this battle. If it weren't for Joker v Pennywise, it'd be my favorite. Everything about it is absolutely amazing

  33. a.... b....

    I know completely understand why this is Epic Loydd's favorite rap battle.

  34. B.... J....

    "me no Third Reichy" Awesome. That's a good one.

  35. B.... ....

    Do Sartre vs Camus

  36. m.... P....

    , Lm

    ,lm



    L,just

  37. a.... m....

    Do Hamilton and Ben Franklin

  38. T.... C....

    "This white boy is getting burned now cause guess what now the sun's out" why did that make me laugh for about 2 minutes

    T.... C....

    How many bowls did you smoke?

    T.... C....

    ScienceWinsEveryTime An empty bowl is more useful

  39. R.... G....

    Confusion won that.

  40. M.... ....

    Eastern philosophers definitely won the eyebrow game

  41. F.... �....

    confucius won :D

  42. M.... ....

    Did they borrow Socrates from Bill & Ted ?

  43. K.... W....

    Call me Ubermensch

  44. J.... R....

    I am pretty sure at least 50k views are just me.

  45. C.... ....

    Stuff like this make me wanna learn to rap...but I can’t

  46. k.... k....

    Damn jin tha mc

  47. P.... R....

    what is winning xD

  48. D.... v....

    Did anyone else get chills when he said me no third richey

  49. R.... H....

    Plato be like... Hold my remote

  50. D.... B....

    Marx vs Plato

  51. V.... o....

    Overall winners: Us

  52. T.... ....

    President Trump Vs. President Putin!!!

  53. K.... W....

    I love this erb buuuut they got literally everything wrong about Nietzsche...

    K.... W....

    no they didn't lol, they barely brushed into his ideologies and these are the plain facts

  54. C.... 4....

    *Confucius* : *Aggressively flicks back long beard*

  55. S.... ....

    Do Indian Philosophers vs Greek Philosophers

  56. S.... ....

    Do Indian Philosophers vs Greek Philosophers

  57. D.... R....

    The suns out i say is the best part

  58. D.... R....

    When the asian kid says hold my rice whine

  59. �.... ....

    哈为啥在这边评论里没找着中文评论???只能说略夸张了些吧,毕竟有艺术成分在里面 很喜欢饰演尼采的rapper 还有mc jing!

  60. J.... S....

    It is so difficult to take a 5-foot tall high pitched Asian man trying to sound tough via rap.

  61. P.... D....

    2:37 I love how Sun Tzu is just creeping up behind the quarreling Western Philosophers, very amusing 😂🤙

    P.... D....

    Well Sun Tzu was gathering enemy intel, because has he once said - "If you know yourself and know your enemy, you need not fear the results of a hundred battles."

  62. �.... ....

    🐮🍺,带感。

  63. J.... D....

    this is the most bullshit rap battle....

  64. J.... ....

    WHAT IS WINNING?!

  65. G.... A....

    So they found out sun tzu and Lao tzu were not real

    G.... A....

    w h e n. more importantly, SOURCE?

  66. S.... D....

    Sun Tzu made all of this happen. You can even see him taking pictures.

  67. N.... ....

    Me: *trying to sleep
    My brain: hang a sandal on the door cause *yOU cAn sUCC sOc's diCc*

  68. S.... C....

    Sorry, but you can’t do Socrates like that :(

  69. A.... V....

    Asains win

  70. T.... B....

    The time of this song






    4:20

  71. k.... p....

    2:42 wtf is Sun Tzu doing in the background

  72. G.... G....

    Oriental

  73. P.... C....

    Eastern and western got issues

  74. S.... R....

    Everyone wins here, except Voltaire

    S.... R....

    no one:
    Voltaire: *BEEF FRANKS*

  75. J.... D....

    This helped in deciding to go for a degree in philosophy XD

  76. T.... Y....

    Confucius is like 90% of his team's effort

    T.... Y....

    Sun Tzu*

    T.... Y....

    Laozi's sick beat: *am I a joke to you?*

    T.... Y....

    @Lorelock Laozi's beat was the backbone; Conficius's bars were the brain and the brawn
    ps Laozi was the 1%

  77. M.... A....

    MC Jin be killing it

  78. y.... u....

    Sun tzu and Socrates have the best line for me.

  79. A.... P....

    Confucius won I think

  80. W.... C....

    Daayum Confucius is dope

  81. D.... O....

    The opium wars in a nutshell

  82. A.... A....

    That beat tho. That beat is SICK AS FUCK

  83. H.... H....

    Voltaire's beef franks vs Kano's blood sausage

  84. C.... ....

    "Let me be frank, don't start beef with the frank, who hangs with b frank, giving ladies beef franks!!"








    I'm dead.

  85. 1.... ....

    I love this one

  86. J.... C....

    Confucius won

    J.... C....

    yeah, he's like 90% of his team's effort

  87. M.... E....

    0:38 is the best entring.

  88. D.... n....

    Sun tzu is right. He wrote the art of war. He made everyine fight by themselves

  89. A.... A....

    THE STATE of the world today ......too many egos and ideas ...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha LOL super

  90. D.... ....

    What I love the most about this (besides the beat), is that you can see the attention to giving a quality performance they each do. From their speech to their body language to fittingly express themselves the way the people they're portraying to the T. Very well done guys.

  91. P.... F....

    Did nobody see sun tzu in the background when the western philosophers were arguing??

  92. B.... ....

    Please tell me everyone understood the Wu-Tang Clan reference.

    B.... ....

    sadly no

  93. R.... D....

    Oh you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today
    I'll make you move bitch







    *GET OUT THE WAY*

  94. K.... K....

    Still the best rap battle

  95. M.... R....

    1:29 Socrates always gets me with that line.

  96. S.... ....

    Me: Please, I want to sleep!
    My brain at 3 pm: *LEMME BE FRANK*

  97. H.... ....

    Now Sun Tzu Vs Ivan The Terrible

  98. f.... F....

    Europeans won

  99. M.... d....

    Ahh, philosophy. EVERYONE LOSES.
    YOU'RE ALL WRONG.
    trololololol

    Majora rates this video 100% accurate.