Randy Newman - The Great Debate Lyrics






[Mediator:]
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this great arena! Durham, North Carolina, the heart of the Research Triangle! We've come to this particular place tonight, 'cause we gotta look at things from every angle. We need some answers to some complicated questions if we're going to get it right.

To that end, we have here gathered some of the most expensive scientists in the world—eminent scientists, that is. We got biologists, biometricians, got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians. Got a cosmologist and a cosmetician, got an astronaut, we got Astro Boy! We got he-doctors, she-doctors, knee doctors, tree doctors! We a got a lumberjack and a life coach!

On the other side, we have the true believers. We got the Baptists, the Methodists, Presbyterians. The Episcopalians are here, pass the hat! We got the Shakers, the Quakers, the anti-innoculators, the Big Boss Line from Madison Town! The Six Blind Boys, Five Tons of Joy, give 'em room, get out of the way! We got a Bible Belter from the Mississippi Delta. Have them all arranged.

Scientists, are you ready? First question: dark matter. Oh, dark matter. Give me someone knows somethin' about space.

[The Scientists send a representative.]

Nice space music, Georgie. All right, what is it? Where is it? Can we get some? Stand up, sir, would you? You are standing, forgive me. Dark matter, go ahead.

[Georgie:]
Dark matter is out in space.
It's seventy-five percent of everything...

[Mediator:]
Just a moment, sir. Do yourself a favor, use our music. People like it, and your music's making people sick! All right. It's a free country, go ahead. Dark matter, what is it?

[Georgie:]
We don't know what it is, but we think it's everywhere.

[Mediator:]
I'd like to take a look at it. Can we get some down here?

[Georgie:]
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Of course not!

[Mediator:]
Let me get this straight: you don't know what it is, you don't know where it is, and we can't get any? Put that to the one side. Let's put the Lord, faith, eternity and whatever on the other side! Show of hands?

[True Believers:]
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
Yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, yes I will!
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!

[Mediator:]
All right, one-nothing! Next one's gonna be a hard one. It's about the theory of evolution, and it's about animals, also. So, give me someone knows somethin' about evolution, and animals. Who you got?

[Both sides send a representative.]

[True Believer:]
Wow, you're a beautiful woman, aren't you? Doesn't matter, of course, but if this science thing doesn't work out for you— oh, don't boo me, don't boo me! I'm just kiddin' you, you know that. Here's my question: explain me the giraffe. Go ahead.

[Scientist:]
Elaborate?

[True Believer:]
With pleasure, miss. The giraffe, to survive, must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree. That's true, isn't it?

[Scientist:]
Of course it is. Everyone knows that!

[True Believer:]
But Mr. Darwin's giraffe, the halfway-giraffe, with a halfway-giraffe neck, could never have reached the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba. Therefore, he could not have survived. It's only common sense. Unfortunately for you, Mr. Charles Darwin didn't have any common sense! Evolution is a theory, and we have just now, tonight, disproved it. Show of hands?

[True Believers:]
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time!
Yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, yes I will!
I'll take Jesus every time!

[Applause from the gathered crowd.]

[Mediator:]
All right, two-nothing! Next question: global warming. Is it, and if so, so what— One of the true believers seeks to be recognized. Hand him a mic, Charles. Thank you.

[The True Believer taps the microphone.]

[True Believer:]
Sir, do you know what you are? You're an idiot. You're a strawman, a fabrication! You see, the author of this little vignette, Mr. Newman, self-described atheist and communist, creates characters, like you, as objects of ridicule! He doesn't believe anything he has you say, nor does he want us to believe anything you say. Makes it easy for him to knock you down, hence, a strawman. I, myself, believe in Jesus. I believe in evolution, also. I believe in global warming, and in life everlasting. No one can knock me down.

[Mediator:]
Oh, we can knock you down, Mister! We can knock your communist friend down, too! Communist... You call me an idiot! We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years! Like this: page 35, Georgie! Mrs. Dorothy, page 35...

[All:]
I know someone is watching me
Everywhere I go
Someone sees everything I see
Knows everything I know
When I'm in trouble, don't have a friend
There's still somebody on whom I can depend
Someone who'll be there 'till the very end
Someone is watching me!

Someone is watching me!
Someone is watching me!
For so long, I was too blind to see
Someone is watching
Someone is watching
Someone is watching me!

[Mediator:]
Take a little break, ladies and gentlemen. Fifteen, maybe twenty-five minutes, depending on how the merchandise is moving. We'll be right back!

[Applause.]





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Randy Newman The Great Debate Comments
  1. F.... ....

    75 years old and still an incredible singer/songwriter!

  2. C.... M....

    reminds me of 'A Matter of Life and Death' Powell presberger for somme reason. So fresh so brilliant.

  3. A.... i....

    oh yeah....

  4. M.... ....

    I'm actually scared for the future; with or without Randy Newman.

  5. j.... ....

    I'll take ignorance, I'll take ignorance, I'll take ignorance all the time. Can't understand them scientist but that won't cost a dime.

  6. r.... H....

    Dark Matter is Jesus!

  7. D.... T....

    Pretty good for an old fart. I'll take Jesus every time. For an atheist he writes a hell of a gospel tune.

  8. b.... ....

    Although I liked the rest of the album the first song is less successful to wordy and too long , like my own poetry teacher said don't preach down too strongly it doesn't work some of the musical experimentation though is interesting

  9. C.... Y....

    Subscribe to my channel

  10. N.... ....

    Randy Newman is a genius

  11. D.... J....

    I like the way your voice sounds now. yeah man!
    dark matter is a reflection of light but without mirrors.

  12. S.... ....

    This is my favorite Dream Theater song.

  13. s.... ....

    Praise be, new Newman! Never a better time than now

  14. �.... ....

    ランディ・ニューマン健在なり!今作では、アメリカの光と影を歌うのみならず、世界の光というか闇を歌っている。「dark  matter」いいタイトルだと思います。

  15. J.... R....

    Welcome, welcome, welcome
    To this great arena
    Durham, North Carolina
    The heart of the research triangle
    We've come to this particular place tonight
    We've gotta look at things from every angle
    We need some answers to some complicated questions
    If we're going to get it right
    To that end we have here gathered
    Some of the most expensive scientists in the world
    Eminent scientists, that is
    We got biologists, biometricians
    We got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians
    We got a cosmologist and cosmeticians
    We got an astronaut, we got an astroboy

    We got he-doctors, she-doctors
    Knee doctors, tea doctors
    We got a lumberjack and a life coach

    On the other side, we have the true believers
    We got the Baptists, the Methodists, the Presbyterians
    Episcopalians are here, pass the hat
    We got the Sugars, the Quakers
    The anti innoculators
    The big-boss line from Madison Town
    The Six Blind Boys, Five Tons of Joy
    Give 'em room or get outta the way
    We got a Bible-belter from the Mississippi delta
    Have them all arraigned

    Scientists, are you ready?
    First question
    Dark matter
    Ooh, dark matter
    Get me someone who knows somethin' about space
    Nice space music, Georgie
    Alright, what is it?
    Where is it?
    Can we get some?
    Stand up sir, what's your-
    You are standing, forgive me
    Dark matter, go ahead

    Dark matter is out in space
    It's seventy-five percent of everything
    Just a moment, sir
    Do yourself a favor, use our music, people like it and
    Your music's making people sick
    Alright, it's a free country
    Go ahead with dark matter, what is it?
    We don't know what it is
    But we think it's everywhere
    I'll take a look at it
    Can we get someone down here?
    Of course not!

    Let me get this straight
    You don't know what it is
    You don't know where it is
    And we can't get any
    Put that to the one side
    Let's put the Lord, faith, eternity
    Whatever on the other side
    Show 'em Vance

    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime

    Alright
    One-nothing
    Next one is going to be a hard one
    It's about the theory of evolution
    And it's about animals also
    So get me someone who knows somethin' about evolution and animals
    Who you got?

    Woah
    You're a beautiful woman, aren't you?
    It doesn't matter of course
    This science thing doesn't work out for you
    Don't boo me, don't boo me
    I'm just kidding, you know that
    Here's my question
    Explain me the giraffe
    Go ahead
    Elaborate with pleasure, miss
    The giraffe, to survive, must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree
    That's true, isn't it?
    Of course it is, everyone knows that
    But Mr. Darwin's giraffe, a half-way giraffe, with a half-way giraffe neck
    Could never reach the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba
    Therefore, it could not have survived
    It's only common sense
    Unfortunately for you, Mr. Charles Darwin didn't have any common sense
    Evolution is a theory
    And we have just now, tonight, disproved it
    Show of hands

    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    I'll take Jesus everytime

    Alright, two-nothing
    Next question, global warming
    Is it? And if so, so what?
    One the true believers seems to be recognized
    Hand over a mic, Charles
    Thank you

    Sir, you know what you are
    You're an idiot
    You're a strong man, a fabrication
    You see, the author of this little vignette, Mr. Newman
    Self-described atheist and communist
    Creates characters like you as objects of ridicule
    He doesn't to believe anything he has you say
    Nor does he want us to believe anything you say
    Makes it easy for him to knock you down, hence a strong man
    I myself, believe in Jesus
    I believe in evolution also
    I believe in global warming
    And in life everlasting
    No one can knock me down

    Oh, we can knock you down, mister
    We can knock your communist friend down, too
    Communist? He called me an idiot
    We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years
    Like this, sir
    Page 35 Georgie
    Miss Dorothy, page 35

    I know someone is watching me
    Everywhere I go
    Someone sees everything I see
    Knows everything I know
    When I'm in trouble, don't have a friend
    It's him somebody who I can be friends with
    Someone who'll be there till the very end
    Someone is watching me

    Someone is watching me
    Someone is watching me
    For so long I was too blind to see
    Someone is watching
    Someone is watching
    Someone is watching me

    Take a look back, ladies and gentlemen
    15, 20, 25 minutes
    Depending on how the merchandise is moving
    We'll be right back

    J.... R....

    Straw man, not strong man. Thanks for the lyrics!

    J.... R....

    Shakers, not Sugars.

    J.... R....

    Show of hands, not Show 'em, Vance.

  16. P.... ....

    Randy..you been following up the great Song...where you referred to yourself as a "froggish man: L Great album!!!

  17. H.... v....

    This song gets better and funnier everytime I hear it. In fact I can't wait to hear it again!

  18. E.... F....

    Na na na na na

  19. M.... ....

    I wish this tune was a hair longer!

  20. E.... P....

    Highly rated in Rolling Stone Magazine this month.

    E.... P....

    RS is a worthless opinion now..you should know that,, SO you know what they rate 'high" these days...Auto tune Inc

  21. F.... F....

    ill take jesus every time

  22. B.... ....

    Me and my comm-un-ist friends are knocked down

    B.... ....

    Giraffes actually evolved long necks to knock other males down so that they can have sex with the females...
    So, guess there has been a lot of knocking.

  23. S.... C....

    This blew my mind smoked for hours n sipped coronas thank u randy this was a dope azz record

  24. B.... P....

    The super dissonant space music that comes in while the scientist is talking about dark matter is hysterical. I love how many music jokes he packs into his songs.

    B.... P....

    You know, that is probably more or less what he thought

  25. S.... P....

    The best funniest vibes

  26. K.... K....

    Another classic song - I've been a fan for over 30 years and Randy is still going strong!

  27. R.... M....

    I put on my scary mask and danced around a fire while listening to this.... my cancer is cured!

  28. d.... b....

    hello newman

  29. C.... ....

    New album ? Good News !

  30. t.... d....

    thank you Mr. Newman.

  31. P.... ....

    "GET ON THE GLORY TRAIN... GET ON THE GLOOORY TRAIN..."

    P.... ....

    He's the genius of reusing.
    That's what Irving Berlin did.

    P.... ....

    I was thinking the exact same thing.

  32. E.... ....

    In the end the side with the better music and commercials wins! ;)

    E.... ....

    Really the guy who knows they're all pawns in Randy's game is the one who really wins...

  33. J.... S....

    Randy mails it in. This cute shit is getting boring.

    J.... S....

    So go write some shit that isn't cute. Go on.

    J.... S....

    this song is as far from cute as you could get lmao

    J.... S....

    your dick must be super hard bro

    J.... S....

    WokeProgressive .... And the deeper meaning is?

  34. C.... D....

    Heard this song on BBC radio 6 music 2 months ago while I was at work and it's pure genius

  35. Y.... T....

    Heard the start of this song at a bbc recording a couple months back. So glad to finally hear the full thing

  36. M.... ....

    Once again, nobody looks at our society with the clarity of Randy Newman. Caught you doing "Putin" on the Colbert show the other night. Great live solo performance. This is also very good.

  37. P.... ....

    This track is incredible. True genius.

  38. E.... B....

    thank u randy