Miller-Heidke, Kate - I'm Growing A Beard Downstairs For Christmas Lyrics
When I was a girl
Just a little girl
I couldn't wait 'til I became a woman
And I could grow a thatch of curls
A deep dark forest to keep me warm in this cold world
Weeks became months
Months turned to years
And it was like magic
It grew and grew
The greatest bush
That the kingdom ever knew
But at the turn of the millennium
A fever gripped the land
It was decreed that all the women
But now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
When I was a boy
Just a little boy
I was embarrassed by my body's changes
But then one day at the local pool
I saw a life guard with hair growing out of his anus
I was so impressed
It looked like Tom Selleck's chest
He was so proud as he towelled it down
I couldn't wait to cultivate
My very own hairy bum gown
But at the turn of the millennium
Spandex gripped the land
Every back sack and crack was attacked with wax
Now I'm growing it back
A gift for you to unwrap
Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
We'll keep each other warm at night
With our jingle bell hairy stalactites
We'll watch each other grow and grow
I'll stick to you
I'll stick to you
Like velcro
Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick
Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Zero Gravity
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Drama
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Sing To Me
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - What Was I To You?
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Jimmy
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Rock This Baby To Sleep
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Share Your Air
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - O Vertigo!
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Yours Was The Body
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Offer It Up
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Your Friends Will Tell You Who You Are
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Mother And Sun
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Fire And Iron
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - The Devil Wears A Suit
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Beautiful Darling
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - In The Dark
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - Humiliation
- Miller-Heidke, Kate - I'll Change Your Mind
Rand Lyrics
Miller-Heidke, Kate I'm Growing A Beard Downstairs For Christmas Comments
I need this song this Christmas! Thank you for the wonderful song!
I can't stop laughing :D :D :D
I usually don´t like Christmas songs but, congratulations Kate, I like this one. <3
Should have used this song for eurovision , staging would have been interesting , but really ninth place for zero gravity was an insult ,
Ha ha !
Excellent.
Why can't she sing this at Eurovision!!!
Merry Christmas. Legend song by legends
hysterical... so good. How is it that I'm just hearing this song now? Best christmas song ever.
This should be the new Christmas anthem to knock Mariah Carey's song out of the popularity stacks! Hilarious and a stand against all those weirdos who want everyone to look like pre-pubescents. We have truly created a sick bunch of paedophiles and this song blows it all out of the water. Love it!
I first heard this at my doctors office i can't believe this is actually a song
A new Christmas season and a good song to have on my playlist ^^
Please do a live version of this song!
23 people still shave.
Absolutely wonderful Christmas song, the link in the description is broken, but this will get you to the right wesbite: http://www.decembeard.org.au/
I can’t stop laughing oh my god thank you for this gift 😂
Christmas time again, time for my favourite Christmas song. 👌
As a transvestite I grew a beard because I was going bold? And when I would pluck my eye brows I would contemplate shaving cream in a nice pair shape of a love heart's under my arms my legs and felt like a new women!!! @peteingham #peatsridge07-8. lovely weekend??? 😀😆. how to take the piss out of feminism??? And do you have something I can sleep with!??? kidding... 😎 xzz
glorious
This is exactly what the world needs to hear!
Australian kisses... like french kisses but down under
Can you imagine if they piped this in at the malls along with the Bing Crosby songs? Oh the confused looks on the holiday shoppers! LOL.
Sharon Somers Funnier than playing the Jesus & Mary Chain in a supermarket. :-D
This is disgusting...I was just looking for beard care forums, and this came up
Merry Christrmas, Merry Christmas Baby ... I'm growing it strong and true ...
I came here because I havent heard from the Beards in a while. Now I have. I am happy.
Thank you for reaffirming why Christmas is my favorite holiday. :)
Two of my fav artists :) YEEES but why do i find this AFTER christmas!!!!!
OK this song is messed, but props for actually doing it
I didn't know Johann beardraven had such a pop music sounding voice.
Very twisted, I love it.
Funniest Christmas song on The Cutting Edge of Christmas internet radio station!
Hilariously dirty. Keep making songs like this, Kate Miller-Heidke <3
Merry Christmas everyone
Kate you're a cack up! So funny! Glad there was no music video for that one though. Merry Christmas :-)
This is what Christmas jingles should sound like! lol
I like some hair down there. I like it a lot.
Saw this live and it was AMAZING!
I love this. I know young women who really think the height of their growing up is waxing what their body naturally grows. yay stay neat but be a grown up. oh yes, someone should send this to Cameron Diaz referenced to her Graham Norton interview. She will laugh herself silly. cudos kate!
No.1 Cristmas song `2015 HAHA
do bowel cancer Australia promote it, or try to prevent it? it's confusing.
+Lani Goodgame hi!
Bring back the bush
Neil Gaiman shared this on his facebook.. Perfection <3
Forget X Factor for Christmas, this should be the Christmas Number One.
The very best Festive song ever!!! Hilarious xx
F*ck, I love you.
Love it :)
This song is hilarious... THATS WHY I LOVE IT!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👨👨👨👨💂💂💂💂😆😆😆 All body hair is excepted
Accepted*
+Cass Stemp are you serious?
Hey how's it going? It's excellent. stitch pickle !!
Beautiful
funny indeed
Ginger beards, ginger beards, ginger beards rock.
Ginger beards flow in gingery locks.
Showing and growing up bushes of fun
Now the ginger crop has begun.
Merry Christmas to all my fellow bearded gingers!
I'd also recommend a FOBT for DECEMBOWEL.
Why is Youtube only showing my views?
+pillspoo Because you are growing your downstairs beard with honour this Christmas.
Lol I'm the same😂😂
+pillspoo Maybe because youre tho only one who watches thic crappy song :)
Smuttiest christmas song for years. Brilliant!
Pure genius.
http://youtu.be/af7LwnA913g
Im back in fashion
Well, that was unexpected - in the best way possible! :D
<3 The best christmas song ever <3 salut!
a shit day made considerably better now, this song is already in my head! it made me laugh out loud♥
Yesssss! I'll never understand the need for adults to rid themselves of all their body hair so they look like prepubescent children. Grow the hair! It belongs there! Chest, underarms, legs, butts, pubes. Trim a little if you must, but I love the fluff. <3
Well, ok, not back hair. hahaha
Even I have my limits. ;)
This song is everything I dreamed it would be!!! 😍
Beardly.. love it ;D
When I was a boy! Just a little boy!
Love ❤
Awesome ! ! !
#Bowel #cancer #awareness #bowelcancer
This just may be the best Christmas song going!!! 💝💝💝
Best Xmas song ever!
best Christmas song ive heard 😂
Odd topic for a song, but I like it!
Hahahahaha this is brilliant! Fucking hilarious!!
A very welcome addition to my (already) dodgy Xmas list!
+Ian McLaughlin do please post a list, i would love to hear more dodgy xmas songs
+Lucas Vaillancourt this isn't dodgy! It's F'ing amazing
I didn't know how much I needed this in my life until now.
+thesaucyteapot Agreed!
+thesaucyteapot Now you know why Christmas is my favorite holiday. :)
#BeardsFTW
(even on women)
Love it
Amazing Truly a masterpiece
Amazing.
New Favorite Song