Lynch, Stephen - Waiting Lyrics

It's out of my hands and all I can do is wait
It's the not knowing that has put me in this state
The minutes feel like hours the tension is too great
I've done my part so now it's in the hands of fate

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I shouldn't have fucked that prositute without a profylactic
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Regret is dripping from me like my semen down her crack
And now I wait

My nerves they have been frayed my pants they have been shat
I know the nurse will say it's time to have a chat
At least I never worry about getting fat
I should think positive, no wait I didn't say that

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I never should have blown that tranny in my Cadillac
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I just had to taste that sweet forbidden necter from his sack
And now I wait

Is it over will my jersey be retired?
Will my name stitched upon a quilt be required?
Did I make a differnce was my life inspired?
Will Denzel Washington defend me when I'm fired?

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Eating asshole shouldn't be an aphrodisiac
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
If I'm clean I swear to God I'll stop shooting smack

Boys and girls don't be naive
Take it from your Uncle Steve
AIDS cares not whom it affects
Caught from unprotected sex
Sharing needles blood or spit
Or piss or semen even shit
From handshakes sneezes toilet seats
From monkey bites and uncooked meats
From dirty coins and dreadlocked hair
From certain children in daycare
Drinking water breathing air
I tell you AIDS is everywhere
Oh God I can't take anymore
I think I'll run right out that door
But wait the nurse comes straight away
Tell me what does my test say

I'm okay
I'm okay
It's just chlamydia

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Lynch, Stephen Waiting Comments
  1. malignor

    1:12 sending to my friend to just remounted his tranny. I mean if you're going to mount a tranny you manna make sure it's tight, right? It's better for all parties involved.

  2. ultimatedesingers

    I actually heard this song on Pandora for the first time yesterday after leaving my AIDS test(I didn't come up positive thank god). Pandora has such funny timing, almost as if technology is spying on us. hmmmmmm

  3. mickey mouso

    AM in hospital listenin to this and getting some weird ass looks lol and no I do NOT have aids I just find this FUNNY AS FUCK LOL

  4. Matthew VonHofen

    Love the Philadelphia reference hahaha!

  5. Bob Hope

    I just found out some jackass might have given me aids thank god I have a sence of humor and if I'm clean this will most likely will become my anthem in honor of my stupidity


    +Bob Hope I hope you're okay man.

    Bob Hope

    @Hell Bunny i started walking around in the nude im dying of alcoholism and aids i decided to embrace it today or tomorrow im goona kill myself


    +Bob Hope hah


    well this is what happens when you commit fornication man ;/

    John Stanton

    well, is it a bad time to confront the irony of your last name? and if you're still alive I suggest spending time with family and at a church if you're religious.

  6. Daniel Moreno

    you are some real shit bro . but I liked it...:)

  7. triston sanchez

    Don't hate on people. some of us have a sick sence of humor. and thatets us be free

  8. Lance W

    Before releasing every single song, he consults his wife. If she doesn't laugh, he doesn't release it. :)


    And this is why love makes for bad business.

    Imagine all the funny songs that Stephen Lynch wrote that were never released simply because it did not meet the taste of one specific individual.

  9. Sydney Curtner

    What if they played this song in a hospital waiting room lol

    Ginger Cat lord

    Sydney Curtner that's a terrible idea (do it 😹)


    @Ginger Cat lord I would start singing. Especially the bit at the end.

  10. Daniel Moreno

    Wait what? Clamedia!? :P lol

    Austin LastName

    better then aids

    Ray Man

    +Austin LastName (ThePineAppleGamer) *slightly*


    +Daniel Moreno Aye chlamydia is at least curable.

  11. bryeson smith

    1:25 i cri evrytim i her dis pert

    Rock Strongo

    rip English

  12. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy

    I go through this shit every day.

  13. Ken Lippert

    Every Stephen Lynch song can be described as "Wait for it....wait for it...wai-and there it is."  

    paco velasco

    lol XD so true


    +Ken Lippert That's why we love him :)


    +Ken Lippert "Lullaby" is the perfect one for that.

  14. Sean Hastings

    Dallas Buyer's Club reminded me of this song.

  15. Matthew Drummond

    love the Philadelphia reference 

  16. Aaron Harlow

    Come on, don't be ignorant. I've been in this situation before, what was worse was it was a blood test, so I had to wait about a week for the results (negative, of course). But after a relative of mine died a very slow and painful death to AIDS, it's scary shit, that's all I can say.

  17. HarrisonPudding

    Philadelphia Story. Hanks played a gay man with terminal AIDS who was being discriminated against by his law firm.

  18. Bearsca

    10 people had sex with uncle Steve.

  19. Dara Kenny

    i dont get that ,, was denzel washington a layer in some kind of aids movie ???

  20. guardianofsouls86

    this song is so sad....

  21. Todd Clay

    They should play this at all the HIV clinics.

  22. Jason Pack

    I don't remember that part.

  23. Gabriel Gagnon


    John Harrison

    Gabriel Gagnon yes he did

  24. powermasterjazz

    This song has a good message.

  25. Manolica Andrei

    cause you are an idiot!

  26. cdyjnthn

    I just showed this song to my neighbor next door she don't speak English at all she thought it was a love song and said I was sweet in German hahahahahahah

  27. cdyjnthn

    This is fucking hilarious lmao

  28. Manolica Andrei

    cause you are an idiot!

  29. Pre5identevil

    God I'm going to hell, cause I think this song is fucking funny

  30. suikofan108

    8 people were certain children in daycare

  31. MelancholyRose

    This is the only song he's made that really offended me...

  32. Nikolai Mihalech

    da fuck? lol thats funny

  33. GankMastahFresh

    @butchcastity did you listen to the end of the song? he clearly said it was JUST chlamydia

  34. NewyAlien

    "As seen on"
    what the fuck.

  35. Mason Shipley

    @MrMayhem3k HEH HEH HEH

  36. Andrew Adelman

    This is so funny . . .

  37. Alex Buck

    I'm staying inside.

  38. Small Slardibartfast

    @Rasenshuriken90 because you mention it in your comment, so people look at it and laugh. Anyways if you are too stupid to understand, I am not wasting anymore time on you.

  39. Rasenshuriken90

    @Muscleadviceplzz If they liked the joke, why did they thumb-up my comment?

  40. Small Slardibartfast

    @Rasenshuriken90 because they liked the joke. NOT your stupidity.

  41. Rasenshuriken90

    @Muscleadviceplzz Well, I'm the one with 88 likes as of this post, so HA!

  42. Small Slardibartfast

    @Rasenshuriken90 jesus you are slow minded... 6 times.... That's just stupid. Sorry buddy.

  43. Rob Amantea

    Its just clamidia.....

  44. Vyc Ðarkshådøw

    XD I got the "think positive" joke immediately, before reading the comments.

  45. Syn_of_Wrath

    6 peoples aids test came back positive

  46. Anthony Capuano

    if im clean i will stop shooting smack...probably haha

  47. UncleGhost.95

    @slo2type2u thanks 'cause i would've never gotten that! lol

  48. Shmerkaberl

    This is the same chord progression as the Gerudo fortress in Ocarina of Time

  49. Daphnegirl93

    This sounds kinda beautiful, actually... as long as you ignore the lyrics ;D

  50. Latricia Jenkins

    5 ppl are waiting for there test

  51. Lucas

    oh comon a tranny

  52. Vince P

    i think the highest rated comment is so much funnier with 69 likes. NOONE LIKE THAT SHIT

  53. Brandon Bailey

    Hell is gonna be so fun with Stephen there....I cant wait!

  54. SuperNova Caine

    @Rasenshuriken90 holy shit. i just got it. XD

  55. ShredWithMe

    i can't wait for me friend to see this when he gets on facebook, he had chlamydia

  56. kevin massey

    yehhhhh clamida

  57. Gusto Centrial

    your my Hero im sure "im positive"

  58. Charlotte Murphy

    lmao i love u! i cant wait to see this bastard in 9 days :D

  59. BluMunky87

    "If i'm clean I swear to God I will stop shooting smack... probably"

  60. Gary S

    @Rasenshuriken90 After reading your comment, i finally got the 'think positive' joke.

  61. Arland Rininger

    @wingzero0721 Yeah, if you've never heard of RENT... lol

  62. DarkWarrior103

    @H4ckSt0ck hehe... aids is still not somthing to joke about, your d*ck might explode in some chick (or guy for some wierd guys)

  63. DarkWarrior103

    @Rasenshuriken90 i dont xD tell me?

  64. WhatsOnNext

    This is probably my fav of the album. I keep re listening

  65. ayeletkessel

    Is that song based on some other song's melody? because it really remindes me of somthing and I can't recall what!

  66. WolfLinkChick1991

    Its only what? I can't understand the last word he says :/

  67. AntiCyberGreenBunny

    @migath I KNOW RIGHT! I'd do him all night long. xP

  68. klhsmartypants1

    @Rasenshuriken90 Why did we thumb up the slow person? JK : )

  69. migath

    Wierd song, but I really like the rythm! And he's so cute.

  70. Ezera18

    lmao its only CHLAMYDIA lol

  71. J. A. Crestmere


    I'm a Lynch fan but my jaw dropped at this.

  72. Samarius

    And I just got it because of your comment.

  73. Peef Rimgar

    Yeah, same, at that is the genius of Stephen Lynch. You can listen to a song multiple times and still laugh at jokes you're just getting after so many times.

  74. MIchael Espinosa

    haha funny

  75. Rasenshuriken90

    After the 6th time listening, I finally got the 'think positive' joke.

  76. jason wilcher

    Dreadlocked hair

  77. Ryan Pernicano

    Where did you sit? We were far away but it was spur of the moment last minute why the fuck not lol but it was funny as all hell

  78. Dreffan

    ya he put on a great show

  79. Ryan Pernicano

    yeah lol he was hilarious!

  80. Dreffan

    I WAS AT THE SAME SHOW at the filmore right?

  81. Ryan Pernicano

    Me too lol in Detroit

  82. vegassilenttype

    Oh wow, what a gem! I never knew he did this, I shat mypants aswell ^_^! Magnificent!

  83. HGrams

    From certain children in day care.

  84. MzRayy

    My brother went that night, and he thought it was awesome!! He flew from the UK to go, and he said it was totally worth it!

  85. JiMMyJaM08061991

    these songs are a lot different than his older ones

  86. kingblargle

    omfg lol .

  87. Dragonfire1321

    i agree with that up to a point. sometimes the fucking crowd is so loud you can't even hear the song, which sucks, but the songs really need to be punctuated by the laughter to have their full effect.

  88. bgn200

    the violin makes it even more hilarious.

  89. Nono Iwont

    FFS he was in the netherlands last year, i didn`t notice that, now i`ll have to wait forever till he comes back! :(
    he is so freaking genius

  90. epyonblitz

    hell no three balloons is funny

  91. imAdam560

    this is without a doubt his best song

  92. Kingdan1010

    from him telling us that his new album was going to be studio recorded i was aprehensive. he had one a while ago, think it was a little bit special, ant remember. but it was no where as near as good as his live stuff. Howevre, this album is very good, the use of extra instruments is good and adds to the song, but it's dissapointing not to hear a crowd

    thanks for posting his album

  93. EnemyLasagna

    and the way he interacts with the crowd too (super hero)

  94. Tyler Horton

    hahah im ok its just clymedia

  95. Radda Raddington

    I'm all good for studio albums and what not..
    But I think Lynch should stick to Live Albums.
    It reminds me that he actually CAN sing...
    plus I love hearing the crowd's reactions :D

  96. Ncush Musicish

    lol, I should think positive. Wait, I didn't say that.

    Ahh! He breaks walls down.