Lynch, Stephen - D&D (2005 Bonus Version) Lyrics
Now this is about a guy you might remember from high school
[Lynch:] Harmonica.
[Teich:] [imitates harmonica]
[Teich:] [imitates harmonica]
[Lynch:] [after a pause] Bassoon.
[Teich:] And you're a cocksucker.
[Lynch:] Thank you.
[Lynch:] I got my 12-sided die and I'm ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew.
My friends are comin' over to my mom's basement, bringin' Funyuns and Mountain Dew.
[Teich:] I got a big broadsword made outta cardboard, and the stereo's a-pumpin' Zeppelin
[Lynch:] [in falsetto] Whole lotta love
[Both:] Let the Dungeons and the Dragons begin IT'S D&D!
[Teich:] Fightin' with the legends of yore.
[Both:] IT'S D&D!
[Teich:] Never kissed a lady before.
[Lynch:] Nope.
[Both:] Whoo!
[Lynch:] Play us a little gui-tar, Teichy, come on.
[Teich:] [picks up a small guitar and, after a long pause, plucks one string] Did you see that?
[Lynch:] Yeah!
[Lynch:] Now the Lord of the Rings, the Dark Crystal and things, we use these as a reference tool,
[Teich:] And when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes, WE'RE THE COOLEST KIDS IN THE SCHOOL!
[Lynch:] [under his breath] No we're not.
[Teich:] [also under his breath] I know.
[Lynch:] Now Teich's a real bastard, but a fair dungeon master; he's got hit points and charisma to lend,
[Teich:] And I rehearse in my room, or what I call the dragon's tomb, when I'm not out with my girl friend.
[Both:] It's D&D!
[Teich keeps singing, but Lynch stops short]
[Lynch:] Oh hold on, I'm sorry, hold on one second. Dude, come on.
[Teich:] What?
[Lynch:] Seriously!
[Teich:] What?
[Lynch:] You got a fuckin' girlfriend? "Dungeon Master"?
[Teich:] Yeah, all right, I do, I have a girlfriend. I do! I have a girlfriend ... ahhhh, I don't have a girlfriend.
[Both:] It's D&D!
[Lynch:] Summoning the demons of hell,
[Both:] It's D&D!
[Teich:] When our shift ends at the Taco Bell.
[Lynch's brother Drew comes onstage]
[Lynch:] Well, my medieval brother, there's room here for another, would you care to take a roll of the die?
[Drew:] Now listen to my words, you guys are fucking nerds, I'd rather stick that sword in my eye!
[Lynch:] Wow!
[Drew:] You're not a warrior strong! Your fucking wand is a bong! There's no such thing as a gnome or a sprite!
[Both:] We put a spell on thee!
[Drew:] [laughing] You guys are too much for me, ha ha ha ...
[Both:] [after a long pause to glare at him] That's what your mama said last night.
[All:] It's D&D!
[Lynch:] Warriors who terrify
[All:] It's D&D!
[All:] Virgins till the day we-e-e-e-e-eeeee-AH
[all freakiness ensues]
[Lynch:] 1, 2, FUCK YOU!
[All:] DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Lynch, Stephen - Then She Farted
- Lynch, Stephen - Tattoo
- Lynch, Stephen - No Meat
- Lynch, Stephen - So This Is Outer Space?
- Lynch, Stephen - Lorelei
- Lynch, Stephen - Lion
- Lynch, Stephen - Tennessee
- Lynch, Stephen - Let Me Inside
- Lynch, Stephen - The Night I Laid You Down
- Lynch, Stephen - Hallelujah
- Lynch, Stephen - Dear Diary 4
- Lynch, Stephen - 3 Balloons
- Lynch, Stephen - Dear Diary 2
- Lynch, Stephen - Medieval Bush
- Lynch, Stephen - A History Lesson
- Lynch, Stephen - Dear Diary 3
- Lynch, Stephen - You (Prettier Than)
- Lynch, Stephen - The Ballad Of Scarface
Rand Lyrics
- Moore, Justin - More Middle Fingers
- Moore, Justin - Life In The Livin'
- Moore, Justin - Middle Class Money
- Moore, Justin - Pick-Up Lines
- Moore, Justin - Spendin' The Night
- Moore, Justin - When I Get Home
- Moore, Justin - Why We Drink
- Moore, Justin - That's My Boy
- Moore, Justin - The Ones That Didn't Make It Back Home
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