Lynch, Stephen - 3 Balloons Lyrics




Call from my car to say I'll be there in awhile
Short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile
Nothing on the radio I fiddle with the dial
Then I see a sign the airport's just another mile
I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly
And as I near security I almost start to cry

Well I hope the law enforcement agents can't tell from my face
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
Cause with 4 balloons of heroin it's gettin' crowded up in there
Crowded up in there

Mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise
Relax I say it's not so bad it might feel kind of nice
Besides who hasn't had a finger up there once or twice
I must remember don't leave any drugs inside the host
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed

Well I say a little prayer Hail Maria full of grace
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
And I swear I'm farting lines of blow into my underwear
From my derriere

I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash
5 balloons of ecstasy and 6 balloons of hash
8 balloons of LSD and 9 of sensimilla
A box of Chinese fireworks Guatemalan child
I made it to the gate now and my joy I can't contain
I board the aircraft take my seat in the cockpit of the plane

As I taxi down the runway I get a smile on my face
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
Flight crew prepare for take off as I lift us into air
And by the way does anyone want to buy Guatemalan child
From my derriere
I've got 3 balloons
Mmm I've got 3 balloons
Mmm I've got 3 balloons





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Lynch, Stephen 3 Balloons Comments
  1. Aron Johnson

    Best Comedy Rock:
    Tenacious D
    Stephen Lynch
    Flight of the Concords

  2. Luther F.

    If you watch it at double speed it sounds like he's feeling the simultaneous effects of all the drugs in question

  3. Jason Lowther

    Grand father is the best lynch song, but this takes second place.

  4. Stormbringer_777

    Cops pulled me over once, I attached my stash to a helium balloon, and it floated away! 😂 👍 ☘

  5. Renz Centino

    Call from my car to say I'll be there in awhile
    Short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile
    Nothing on the radio I fiddle with the dial
    Then I see a sign the airport's just another mile
    I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly
    And as I near security I almost start to cry
    Well I hope the law enforcement agents can't tell from my face
    I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
    I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
    Cause with 4 balloons of heroin it's gettin' crowded up in there
    Crowded up in there
    Mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice
    I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise
    Relax I say it's not so bad it might feel kind of nice
    Besides who hasn't had a finger up there once or twice
    I must remember don't leave any drugs inside the host
    I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed
    Well I say a little prayer Hail Maria full of grace
    I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
    I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
    And I swear I'm farting lines of blow into my underwear
    From my derriere
    I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash
    5 balloons of ecstasy and 6 balloons of hash
    8 balloons of LSD and 9 of sensimilla
    A box of Chinese fireworks Guatemalan child
    I made it to the gate now and my joy I can't contain
    I board the aircraft take my seat in the cockpit of the plane
    As I taxi down the runway I get a smile on my face
    I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
    Flight crew prepare for take off as I lift us into air
    And by the way does anyone want to buy Guatemalan child
    From my derriere
    I've got 3 balloons
    Mmm I've got 3 balloons
    Mmm I've got 3 balloons

  6. Narcoleptic Axolotl

    This song sounds like it belongs in a musical. . . .
    Oh. . . .
    SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A MUSICAL OUT OF THIS SONG!!!

  7. Holden Wentz

    Hes just Bo Burnham for adults

    RodentRules

    No Bo Burnham is Stephen Lynch for kids

  8. Dave Strider

    35 balloons, a box of Chinese fireworks, and a fucking Guatemalan child in his ass! XD I'm currently rolling on the floor laughing!

  9. Timmy Fay

    My baby loves Stephen Lynch, I don't look forward to the day when she understands, and I gotta switch tunes.

    Tobias

    Timmy Fay why you playing songs about drugs to your baby😂

    Ryan Patrick

    My youngest would only fall asleep if I sang Stephen Lynch - Lullaby for a long long time! Babies love him!

    Timmy Fay

    Glad I'm not the only one. 😂

    Heretyk_13

    I would fucking love to see this moment, when she realizes what this is all about... And if i`d be a parent like that... That moment would require special camera, i`d keep on hand for years...

    David Butt

    Timmy Fay omglmao its the melody man

  10. Michael Garner

    I love this guy!

  11. Lupe Dominguez

    That song reminds me of my first trip to lax.

  12. John Smith

    3 baloons of Coke ,4 heroin,5 ecstasy,6 hash,8 lsd ,9(something I don't know how to spell),a box of Chinese fireworks and one Guatemalan child ...ouch. 35 baloons a box and a child...

    Cockroach Charlie

    Whatever. I've had more up there.

    Eric D.

    cinci mile
    (like Cincinnati )

    Sonic TheStonedHog

    that's not the ouch part, the ouch is the fact he was only selling the child, damn he could of made a killing with that quantity of drugs lol

    Halloweener

    pretty sure its guatemalan chive :P

    a dude

    anything is possible, if you're determined enough ^^

  13. Shelbi Smith

    steven lynch is bae

  14. Drunketh Wizard

    This is the greatest and best song ever made... ever! 

    aristotle358

    If you think this to be the "best song ever made.." then  I seriously question your musical appreciation. The lyrics are a gimmick. Maybe people like it because he describes smuggling various substances but if you were to strip away the gimmicky lyrics you would be left with musical mediocrity.

    aristotle358

    @TheDarkrevenance  True. What you say is true. It was only my opinion; but given the amount of great music out there it was arguably a fair opinion.

    Steven Marley

    +Drunketh Wizard well yes its a great song and its funny but its hardly the greatest song

    King Sway The Dragon

    +aristotle358 well the song is meant to be funny u know

    Tyler Hartman

    Wrong. That one was played by Tenacious D, despite their inability to remember the greatest and best song ever.

  15. Jonas Eichelberger

    i miss stephen lynch 

    Gentry Wood

    Jonas Eichelberger same

    B-Money 666

    He’s not done making music you know?

    Mark Fuston

    He just released a new CD recently, and there's a recording of the show from Kalamazoo, amazing show.

  16. ElSelcho

    Gotta see his show live, Even better :)

  17. Yorarashi

    4 ballons of herion

  18. Yorarashi

    Shouldnt you not be counting and more woundering how he got a child up there

  19. Jonathan Baker

    the child is funnier tho....

  20. Taylor McCabe

    Aldous Snow's new album, Guatemalan Child

  21. Rikard Wilhelmsson

    You know, I think he means Guatemalan Chai (tea). I don't know, it just seems more probable to fit some leaves inside yourself rather than a human being.

    Snipeyaman

    True, but less silly

  22. Jason Pack

    You're supposed to read the comments after watching the video.

  23. Yorarashi

    Guatemalan child i will buy it my one is getting lonely

  24. Yorarashi

    did EDD get you with a brick to make you speacial

  25. SuperSmashyfication

    3 people's balloons burst.

  26. pencilgoboom

    i was obviously joking

  27. Andrew Ward

    lol sticklers to every joke detail! just enjoy the funny song!

  28. pencilgoboom

    shouldnt this song be called 35 balloons, a box, and a Guatemalan child

  29. Zpik3

    Lol, that's awesome! ^ ^

  30. ShaunEShow

    You rock Stephen \m/

  31. comicfan0205

    the great thing about his songs is they are funny but sound so good u could hear them on the radio if not for the content.

  32. wizardhuntr

    @Axeman87dude why are we debating something that just means asshole. fucking stupid

  33. ILikeCHEEZ9

    lol a girl who tossed my salad overdosed!

  34. Alex Buck

    Derrière just means "behind" something in French. It's a preposition. You both lose.

  35. TheTennanthDoctor

    @ZVenzeio dairy air - Common misspelling of the French word derrière which refers to the buttocks. idiot...

  36. Russel Kay

    @ZVenzeio you're a dumbshit

  37. Thomas Blacklin

    @knobtremor 3

  38. Nathan CRNM

    Man, i'm french and hearing this "from my derriere" almost killed me, i love that.

  39. Aaron Dusoe

    @Kenuda except for the part where he says i take my seat in the cockpit of the plane...

  40. Aaron Dusoe

    @Kenuda took me at leastttt 10 lol

  41. Kenuda

    @bigheadkyle1 Ah don't feel bad. Took me a while too.

  42. JackBurn99

    This is hilarious and horrible. The first time I listened, at the beginning I thought it was about one of the bombers. Glad it wasn't, shows that there are some topics he won't go to.... So far.

  43. knobtremor

    2 people got caught in customs

  44. Christy O'connor

    @brainless14 sound :)

  45. Shmerkaberl

    @MrDimebag1995

    come at me bro.

  46. Christy O'connor

    @MrDimebag1995 sure fight me then

  47. Christy O'connor

    @brainless14 sure fight me then

  48. Shmerkaberl

    @MrDimebag1995

    f'n is pronounced effin which has a vowel sound (obviously) so 'an' is correct.

    how embarrassing.

  49. Bobby dewitt

    2011 is the year of lynch!

  50. jessica clark

    i love this song

  51. Wolf Mama

    Wow.

    He's got a lot of space up there. XD

  52. Reverie.blade

    Dont play this on the radio when you get pulled over...

  53. Ordinaireeos

    Stephen lynch has now officially crossed the line from comedian to rockstar IMHO. That was not only funny comedy, it was also excellent music. I can't wait to get a chance to see Mr. Lynch live someday :)

  54. grillman24

    So much different than what he's done, but amazing.

  55. Demeter's Daughter

    omg it was actually the pilot! wow

  56. STUNTS1516

    yea,but its ok my guatamaulan child slave cleaned it up.

  57. trashcangold

    @STUNTS1516 coke-cain?

    SuperChickenWuss

    No dawg, he has three baloons of soda up his ass.

  58. STUNTS1516

    lolat the minute mark when the joke kicked in i actually spat out my coke i laugh that hard! XD

  59. therealhyperwire

    derriere

  60. TheTrent08

    can you get the cd at walmart?

  61. Nono Iwont

    agreed, its ed ffs
    stupid comedy central bitch ass motherfuckers :)

  62. ripdw27

    His name is Special ED!

    At his show in LA he said Comedy Central just made him change it for his special... and then he called them mother fuckers.

  63. graidstin

    talk about a pain in the ass, literaly

  64. smokeys_13

    Amazing.