Lynch, Stephen - 3 Balloons Lyrics

Best Comedy Rock:
Tenacious D
Stephen Lynch
Flight of the Concords

If you watch it at double speed it sounds like he's feeling the simultaneous effects of all the drugs in question

Grand father is the best lynch song, but this takes second place.

Cops pulled me over once, I attached my stash to a helium balloon, and it floated away! 😂 👍 ☘

Call from my car to say I'll be there in awhile
Short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile
Nothing on the radio I fiddle with the dial
Then I see a sign the airport's just another mile
I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly
And as I near security I almost start to cry
Well I hope the law enforcement agents can't tell from my face
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
Cause with 4 balloons of heroin it's gettin' crowded up in there
Crowded up in there
Mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise
Relax I say it's not so bad it might feel kind of nice
Besides who hasn't had a finger up there once or twice
I must remember don't leave any drugs inside the host
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed
Well I say a little prayer Hail Maria full of grace
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
And I swear I'm farting lines of blow into my underwear
From my derriere
I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash
5 balloons of ecstasy and 6 balloons of hash
8 balloons of LSD and 9 of sensimilla
A box of Chinese fireworks Guatemalan child
I made it to the gate now and my joy I can't contain
I board the aircraft take my seat in the cockpit of the plane
As I taxi down the runway I get a smile on my face
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
Flight crew prepare for take off as I lift us into air
And by the way does anyone want to buy Guatemalan child
From my derriere
I've got 3 balloons
Mmm I've got 3 balloons
Mmm I've got 3 balloons

This song sounds like it belongs in a musical. . . .
Oh. . . .
SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A MUSICAL OUT OF THIS SONG!!!

Hes just Bo Burnham for adults

No Bo Burnham is Stephen Lynch for kids

35 balloons, a box of Chinese fireworks, and a fucking Guatemalan child in his ass! XD I'm currently rolling on the floor laughing!

My baby loves Stephen Lynch, I don't look forward to the day when she understands, and I gotta switch tunes.

Timmy Fay why you playing songs about drugs to your baby😂

My youngest would only fall asleep if I sang Stephen Lynch - Lullaby for a long long time! Babies love him!

Glad I'm not the only one. 😂

I would fucking love to see this moment, when she realizes what this is all about... And if i`d be a parent like that... That moment would require special camera, i`d keep on hand for years...

Timmy Fay omglmao its the melody man

I love this guy!

That song reminds me of my first trip to lax.

3 baloons of Coke ,4 heroin,5 ecstasy,6 hash,8 lsd ,9(something I don't know how to spell),a box of Chinese fireworks and one Guatemalan child ...ouch. 35 baloons a box and a child...

Whatever. I've had more up there.

cinci mile
(like Cincinnati )

that's not the ouch part, the ouch is the fact he was only selling the child, damn he could of made a killing with that quantity of drugs lol

pretty sure its guatemalan chive :P

anything is possible, if you're determined enough ^^

steven lynch is bae

This is the greatest and best song ever made... ever! 

If you think this to be the "best song ever made.." then  I seriously question your musical appreciation. The lyrics are a gimmick. Maybe people like it because he describes smuggling various substances but if you were to strip away the gimmicky lyrics you would be left with musical mediocrity.

@TheDarkrevenance  True. What you say is true. It was only my opinion; but given the amount of great music out there it was arguably a fair opinion.

+Drunketh Wizard well yes its a great song and its funny but its hardly the greatest song

+aristotle358 well the song is meant to be funny u know

Wrong. That one was played by Tenacious D, despite their inability to remember the greatest and best song ever.

i miss stephen lynch 

Jonas Eichelberger same

He’s not done making music you know?

He just released a new CD recently, and there's a recording of the show from Kalamazoo, amazing show.

Gotta see his show live, Even better :)

4 ballons of herion

Shouldnt you not be counting and more woundering how he got a child up there

the child is funnier tho....

Aldous Snow's new album, Guatemalan Child

You know, I think he means Guatemalan Chai (tea). I don't know, it just seems more probable to fit some leaves inside yourself rather than a human being.

True, but less silly

You're supposed to read the comments after watching the video.

Guatemalan child i will buy it my one is getting lonely

did EDD get you with a brick to make you speacial

3 people's balloons burst.

i was obviously joking

lol sticklers to every joke detail! just enjoy the funny song!

shouldnt this song be called 35 balloons, a box, and a Guatemalan child

Lol, that's awesome! ^ ^

You rock Stephen \m/

the great thing about his songs is they are funny but sound so good u could hear them on the radio if not for the content.

@Axeman87dude why are we debating something that just means asshole. fucking stupid

lol a girl who tossed my salad overdosed!

Derrière just means "behind" something in French. It's a preposition. You both lose.

@ZVenzeio dairy air - Common misspelling of the French word derrière which refers to the buttocks. idiot...

@ZVenzeio you're a dumbshit

@knobtremor 3

Man, i'm french and hearing this "from my derriere" almost killed me, i love that.

@Kenuda except for the part where he says i take my seat in the cockpit of the plane...

@Kenuda took me at leastttt 10 lol

@bigheadkyle1 Ah don't feel bad. Took me a while too.

This is hilarious and horrible. The first time I listened, at the beginning I thought it was about one of the bombers. Glad it wasn't, shows that there are some topics he won't go to.... So far.

2 people got caught in customs

@brainless14 sound :)

@MrDimebag1995

come at me bro.

@MrDimebag1995 sure fight me then

@brainless14 sure fight me then

@MrDimebag1995

f'n is pronounced effin which has a vowel sound (obviously) so 'an' is correct.

how embarrassing.

2011 is the year of lynch!

i love this song

Wow.

He's got a lot of space up there. XD

Dont play this on the radio when you get pulled over...

Stephen lynch has now officially crossed the line from comedian to rockstar IMHO. That was not only funny comedy, it was also excellent music. I can't wait to get a chance to see Mr. Lynch live someday :)

So much different than what he's done, but amazing.

omg it was actually the pilot! wow

yea,but its ok my guatamaulan child slave cleaned it up.

@STUNTS1516 coke-cain?

No dawg, he has three baloons of soda up his ass.

lolat the minute mark when the joke kicked in i actually spat out my coke i laugh that hard! XD

derriere

can you get the cd at walmart?

agreed, its ed ffs
stupid comedy central bitch ass motherfuckers :)

His name is Special ED!

At his show in LA he said Comedy Central just made him change it for his special... and then he called them mother fuckers.

talk about a pain in the ass, literaly

Amazing.