Lajoie, Jon - WTF Collective 3 Lyrics

MC confusing...
WTF 3 motherfuckers.
Got more hamstrings than a pile of wings
2012 - Bringing west wing DVDs to a blind date
First on deck every day normal guy

[Everyday normal guy]
Everyday normal guy
Here to get the track started
My average lyrics are between
Genius and retarded
I drink tap water
And watch all the CSIs
I put my 30 dollar pants on
One leg at a time
Sleep 8 hours a night
Eat 3 meals a day
I'm motherfucking content
I got no reason to complain
I have a roof over my head
And I got clothes on my back
My verse is done it wasn't great
But hey it wasn't that bad

[MC uses time machines irresponsibly]
Yo I'm MC uses time machines irresponsibly
Went back and found Judas Iscariot in 33 AD
Gave him 31 pieces of silver to rat out the wrong guy
Then I planted monsanto seeds in dinosaur times
Gave Bill Gates my iPhone in 1973
Then I travelled in time to the night that I was conceived
Then I met up with my parents and we hung out all night
Come to think of it they didn't have any alone time (NO)

[MC nauseous]
MC Nauseous up in this mother fucker
I don't feel so hot shit
I think that I am gonna [bluurg]
Why'm I so sick, what I eat
Cat food will make expired yogurt taste less like cheese (oh right)

[MC cock blocks himself]
MC cock blocks himself, hey girl what's up
You so sexy we should probably hook up
Crawl in a hot tub with a bottle of champagne
By the way I have a girlfriend and I think I might have AIDS (where you going?!)

[MC necrophiliac]
MC necrophiliac, where are my dead bodies at
Crashing funerals just so that I can get a whiff of that
Decomposing body scent, my favourite aphrodesiac
Flat-lining gives me a pavlovian erection in my pants
Turn-offs include breathing pulses and signs of life
My turn-ons are rigor mortis cold flesh and suicide
If you're not stiff as a board I won't be stiff and I'll be bored
Wait what do we have here? Looks like I'm about to score

[Talking, Zombie chorus guy]
Wait a minute... no! No! No!
-You have to be kidding me
What the fuck is going on
-This cannot be happening
I don't wanna do this any more
-This must be a bad dream
Leave me alone
-Why am I still singing?
I motherfucking killed myself

[MC gets sidetracked easily]
MC gets sidetracked easily back in the heezy
By heezy I mean house but not the show I think it's cheezy
My favourite show is Dexter that guy was also in 6 feet-
Under my first experience with death I was just 16
My dog got run over by a truck and its head exploded
Like Robert Patrick in Terminator 2 when he's frozen
It's freezing in Iceland I was just there on holiday
Hold on I think I got lost again what was I trying to say?

[MC who couldn't speak in the present tense]
I was MC who couldn't speak in the present tense
I'm gonna have a lot of money and my dick was immense
It would've been difficult, people assumed I was a retard
I'll have a serious problem, communicating was hard

[MC constipation]
Yo I'm MC constipation
It has been 3 days since
My last bowel movement
I'm starting to get impatient
Spend hours on the toilet
Yet nothing never comes out of it
Intestines like politicians
They're constantly full of shit
I wish my bowel movements
Were a little more like my rhymes
Always smooth and free-flowing
It would save me a lot of time
Push for hours with no result
Not even a brown brussel sprout
My shit's like a gay republican
It's not planning on coming out

Yo I'm MC invisible
You can't see me
The only rapper in this industry
That can't be seen
With the naked eye
I won't lie
It's hard to get a fan base
When image is everything
And I literally don't have a face

[MC on the phone with Ted Danson]
I'm MC on the phone with Ted Danson
Keep it down
Just skip to the next verse
I'm on the phone with ted Danson
Not now
Hold on ted
I don't wanna be in this song anymore
Leave me alone
This is more important
I'm on the phone with the guy who played Sam Malone

[MC confusing]
Yo MC confusing wrapping up the song
Like a plasticine high fiving in a helicopter thong
I got ricochet highlights from the fleet fox's knife guy
We out like a rice fightin' a vampire's wife's life

[MC zombie chorus guy]
-Maybe this isn't so bad
Better than my last job
-Taking it in the ass for cash
20 bucks a pop
-Maybe things will turn around
Being a zombie's pretty cool
-Things couldn't get worse anyhow
(get's tackled by MC necrophiliac)
[MC necrophiliac:] Yeah that's right uh. [undoing fly/zipper] Oh you're gonna get it you little dead bitch.
[Chorus Guy:] No! No! Ah! [getting raped] ow ow, I spoke to soon
[MC WCSITPT:] UGH! That used to be so gross!
[MC Nauseous:] It's just a guy having sex with a dead body. There's nothing (BLURG)
[MC invisible:] Dude! You just puked all over me!
[MC Nauseous:] sorry
[MC constipation:] That's a good idea, I should get an enema
[MC cock-blocks himself:] Enemas, puke, guys having sex with dead bodies... you ready to go back to my place ([girl:] ugh (walks off)) What am I doing wrong?
[MC fatigue: (wakes up)] Did I miss anything?

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Rand Lyrics

Lajoie, Jon WTF Collective 3 Comments
  1. robtheredrocker

    its 2020 jon, could you pretty please find the time to supply the internet with a wtf 4?

  2. Pablo Sebascobar

    please jon give us wtf 4.. or atleast a mc confusing single...

  3. Jesse Hall

    MC Well At least You Tried, it's just very average like that Every Day Normal Guy.

    MC Jokes Are Stale As Fuck, make a 4th, give a fuck and please don't suck.

    MC TWENTY TWEN TWEN TWEN, Come On Jon how long as it been? Please quit jerking off to Curling and Avril Lavigne or you'll have to face off with me like Gustavo Fring.

  4. Pablo Sebascobar

    Please make another one.. these are so great!

  5. Spiky Michael

    Still waiting for WTF Collective 4 in 2020

  6. Vanja Tlaker

    Still waiting for wtf collective 4

  7. Ordoz

    You should collab with Sam Hyde

  8. Trurl

    MC Uses Time Machines Irresponsibly is best MC :)

  9. R. D.

    good job jon!

  10. Elsyver

    I'm MC Waitin impatiently, I just finished version 1,2 and 3.
    I hope Joey comes back for a wtf part 4,
    But why would he do that, when he and "wolfie" is on tour

  11. Nauzet 1387

    almost 2020 and still here bitches!!

  12. Dave Gitau

    If you only take away one lesson from this video, let it be this....

    "Cat food will make expired yogurt taste less like cheese"

  13. Christoph Schneeweiß

    Peace off Bitches

  14. Max Zatlin

    "my shit's like a gay republican, its not planning on coming out"
    -MC Constipation 2011

    These words are prophetic

  15. The regulator 49

    2019? I remember listening to the first wtf when I was like 12 lol, good times

  16. Chuck Chuckerson

    WTF 1, 2, 3 .. perfection!

  17. Marcus Vinicius Silvestrini

    so this was what vanish doing before deadpool 2

  18. ashtray0belief

    Can you imagine him dropping this now, in 2019? Snowflakes freaking out eeeeverywhere.

  19. AlabamaRebel1861

    "If you're not stiff as a board I won't be stiff and I'll be bored" that line really had my sides launched into orbit

  20. Skurrow


  21. Normy Scum

    "peace off..."

  22. esteroret 1

    what am i doing wrong ??

  23. Christoph Schneeweiß

    MC uses time machines irresponsibly XD

  24. Cooper Miller

    A true lyrical genius

  25. Buick Debaron

    Constipated guy had bars

  26. Yo Daddy Hoe

    Gtfo i never knew there was pt. 3

  27. Steven Martin Official

    Who here is listening in 2019? 🔥

  28. Der Echte Aller Eechten? Rechtschreiber

    Wow julian bam einfach wow😐😒

  29. Jesus Christ

    It's me MC meme people always making jokes and laughing at meme, once upon a time I had a wet dream that I'd go viral in a YouTubers stream. but what the hell I'm still loving it in 2019.

  30. 15sixmedia

    I think MC On The Phone With Ted Danson has gotta be my favourite of all time.

  31. adel hannanouou

    2019 WTF

  32. Andromediana

    MC chorus guy turned zombie cracked the shit outta me laughing 😂😂😂😂

  33. spellenboy

    1:59 , 2:04 the plane ruined the shot :(

  34. Sean Crockett

    dude jeff clooney wow
    he is a huge

  35. jordzmelo

    Snoop dogg impersonation was on point!

  36. jahangir khattak

    This song was released 10 years ahead of its time

  37. Dainilavijs Dainilavs

    Wtf u are legend

  38. Auxified

    Honestly your talent for this is really beyond words. Let all the MCs in the comments be a testament to how hard it is to make a good character. That said you know I've got to give it a try.
    YO It's MC haven't washed my hands in 2 years,
    when I go for a handshake, I always leave smears,
    I might smell really bad, just like a dead antelope,
    but its a small price to pay, compared to paying for soap,
    and with the money I've saved, I could afford a snowmobile,
    *_Drives off_*
    wait a minute, how am I supposed to grip the wheel?

  39. Daryl Dixon

    Its just a guy haveing sex with a dead boddy
    Me: what the fuck man😂😂

  40. Marcelo Rocha

    When I discuss with someone: 00:41

  41. Dr. Drae

    This man is Oliver Trees dad

  42. Grey Virus

    Yo! It's MC Necrophiliac, where are my dead bodies at? Crashing funerals, just so I can get a wiff of that - Decomposing bodies send my favorite aphrodisiac.

  43. Drummer Guy

    MC Vagina would have killed the chorus. With guns. Pow.

  44. Ross Brennan

    MC On the Phone with Ted Danson is still the funniest shit 7 years later

    Romello Lewis

    I swear

  45. Bruce Robinson Jr

    MC Necrophiliac has the best verse lol

    TM TM

    MC Constipation

  46. A B

    Yo it’s MC Lick My Balls
    Lick my balls bitch

  47. Michael Rondeau

    2019 and still no #4... Where is it jon?

  48. Michael James

    Collective 4, come on, MC Confusing and MC Everyday Normal Guy collaboration.

  49. K Kabaam

    MC Invisible is hilarious. Love it

  50. Batman farts

    Kinda felt bad for the chorus guy

  51. Payam Jafari

    Did i just see a guy raping himself?

  52. Dennis Bayazitov

    "Where you going?!"

  53. TheBlue Fleer


  54. niño twines

    1:19 snoop lajoie dog

  55. deiomix32

    2:09 - 2:21
    best rap part on earth

  56. WEEDelecPL

    jon after so many year! those are still my TOP 10 EVER youtube songs :D god bless U! :D

  57. Zameer Ansari

    I hoped that MC vagina be singing the chorus 😔

  58. Shol'va

    JOn is the only one who make me dance in my seat in 2019.

  59. cachogimenez100


  60. Plaidimir

    MC Necrophiliac.

    Do you mean... Horrorcore?

  61. PosMatic

    My favorite flow is MC GETS SIDE TRACKED EASILY! Niceeee flow!

  62. TheInferno550

    World need WTF Collective 4 more then ever

  63. Kyle Kinnear

    I'm MC always lies on his taxes
    I donated a billion dollars to charity
    And I have a hundred kids
    My income this year was in the negatives
    Now let's open this letter. It's from the IRS. SHIT!

  64. Donnie Darko

    If you're not stiff as a board I won't be stiff and I'll be bored......

  65. LEGEND乄 Mohith

    Is this guy marshmallow?

  66. Our time Down here

    MC Constipation surprisingly has awesome flow

  67. Ollie Long

    Mc who couldn't speak in the present tense is maybe the funniest shit I've ever heard

  68. 8i_Mrc Lng_8i

    WTF 4 in 2019? (:

  69. GGReaver

    2:45 Rick and Morty????

  70. ICanSeeY0u

    chorus guy is so funny eheheheheheh so desperate

  71. TheFearlessDave

    YO I'm MC Where's WTF 4?
    I keep visiting this site hoping for more
    It's been 8 years now my life is a bore
    I need some fresh Lajoie, please Jon say "Sure!"

  72. Trisha Godfrey

    I need you to do a comedy come-back, no one else on Youtube is as funny as you

  73. MrOrmanley

    Yo I'm super duper MC Feminist
    Everyday and night all I am is pissed
    I eat and eat till no one else is bigger
    but say a word about ir and you will trigger
    my fat acceptance 50 minute speach
    I'll preach and preach until you'll drink bleach
    Yo im all about that precious e-q-wality
    until guys i'm slapping slap me back oh the hugh-manatee
    My hair displays more colour than a 4k flat tv
    Even rainbows weep themselves to sleep after looking at me
    Guys, scales logic or reality make me depressed
    ugly truth is proof that it's me that is opressed
    So I'm fighting with all my might against toxic masculinity
    while shaming every sexy woman for their internal misogynity
    No I'm not jealous of what those bimbos got for sale
    And men dont go for me not cause I'm like a whale
    When I get off the shower and step on my scale
    I hear a loud shreaking noise and it sounds like a wail
    Little bitch mass display device
    Show 200 pounds less or I'll add 3 buckets of creamy ice

  74. Trayan Iliev

    Ah, 2011... When Dexter was still somewhat good...

  75. Seth Skoloda

    Jon can you answer me and send me a message

  76. troublefist

    I want to kill myself just to be fucked by MC Necrophiliac

  77. Данил Анатольевич

    Давненько я не слышал чего-то достойного ))

  78. Ghost Kiss

    What the heck 😂Delusion idiots

  79. ini the man


  80. Macrons

    This dude just tackled and raped himself. Let that sink in.

  81. superciber

    I only have one question. If MC fatigue is just 4 meters away from Chorus Guy's body, why cant we see him when MC Necrophilia found it? :P

  82. Sean Crockett

    this guy is the shittiest goddamn talentless asshole ive ever heard, I literally bump his shit rolling down the street, windows down, not giving a fuck wtf is happening takeit back to the chorus guy

  83. Al mighty

    Mc invisible 😂😂omg I'm dead

  84. Madcircle

    JonLajoie doing selfcest

  85. Daniel Morris

    Hahahahahaha Necrophiliac is Necro perfectly

  86. sjel av morker

    6 years ago o.O

  87. Emin Jonas Sulejmanov

    He is a great rappee!

  88. facuss13

    el buen jon lajoie, cambiaste viejo :c

  89. Well Jr


  90. Ahmad Sarem

    2018 still waiting!

  91. Shane Draper

    Miss his old music videos

  92. Joel Toyen-Fuentes

    MC Constipation and MC Craps His Pants Frequently should form a group