Guttermouth - A Nice Place To Visit... Lyrics

I take a look around, I think of places I have been
There really aren't that many I would like to see again
I've been to 30, 8 of 50 states
Most of them I'd shut down, 3 or 4 of them are great

Back on the East Coast, DC's a shit hole
You'll freeze to death in Jersey but Florida's the best
I think I would rather have prostate cancer
Than visit Oklahoma it's those sooners I detest

When I see the coast I'm at home at last
Take the Lincoln monument and cram it up your ass

Jesus motherfuckin' Christ, a giant ball of yarn
Don't forget to see the thing when you're on your way to Yuma
Koa is a ok but they ain't got no shoney's
I love turquoise and shells of abalone

Testicular tumors sound so much nicer
Than seeing Dollywood in the hills of Tennessee
Sentence me to life to a Tijuana prison
I don't really care, feed doritos to the bears
Fireworks here and there, California is for me

M I S S I S S I [*fart*] I
Zillions of mosquitoes are gnawing on my thigh
I really love antiquing, I bought some decoy ducks
In some states your sister is the only one you fuck

The Nascar whores of North Carolina
With ovarian cysts the size of Missouri
Do yourself a favor and stay in California
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye