Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit Lyrics






The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women . . .
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

[repeat]

The Illinois Enema Bandit ! heard it on the news !
I heard it on the news
Bloomington Illinois ... he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump

[repeat]

The Illinois Enema Bandit
Some day he'll have to pay
Some day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokesl"
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Saying "Don't nobody have no sympathy . . .
HOT SOAPY WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And the Bandit might say, "Why is everbody always pickin' on me?"

WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
One girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"

BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA?
Another girl shout; "Let fhe friend go free!"

ARE YOU GUILTY?
BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
"he Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs . . "
[etc. repeat]





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Frank Zappa The Illinois Enema Bandit Comments
  1. C.... E....

    Bandit are ya guilty?

  2. F.... ....

    Absolutely true story. Amazing vocal by Ray White, just perfect. Incredible guitar solo by Frank with wonderful support from the band. And Don Pardo's wonderful introduction.

  3. C.... N....

    One of Frank's best solos ever😎

  4. t.... ....

    Enemas,......that sick bastard.

  5. J.... L....

    HUGE respect for Don for doing this.

  6. H.... H....

    wen a wont listen musik i listen ZAPPA

  7. Y.... ....

    I thought i was lost in 1968, but my brother played some Frank. And i knew i wasn't weird after all.

  8. S.... G....

    "It can't happen here..."

  9. P.... G....

    This song makes having constipation so much more enjoyable and edifying. No more caca cogitations or doodoo ruminations for me. The Illinois Enema Bandit has set me free!

  10. b.... ....

    The soaring sounds of Frank's guitar during extended solo on here is stunning. Love ya Frank!

  11. L.... N....

    Best freakn sound on this video upload! Thank you!👑💯❤

  12. C.... B....

    Changed my life.......and my Kids
    4 Xgesehen, von 74 bis 83. it was so great!

  13. M.... L....

    Thumbs down for OP blocking this songs video link from being viewed on other sites , WTF dude ,are you Gail Zappas ghost or what !

  14. S.... ....

    Frank Z at the Chetah Club in Venice Beach w/ the Mothers 1968....lovely show...lol

  15. D.... L....

    If only Zappa was still here in these absurd days of Mango Mussolini

    D.... L....

    I'm sure FZ would have found his predecessor just as absurd.....

  16. M.... L....

    NO POO-POO JOKES!

  17. V.... D....

    hot soapy water in the 1st degree...fz rest in peace. titties and beer was my indoctrination into the rock porno world of fz. what a musical genius!!!!

  18. M.... L....

    Back when the world had a sense of humor. Couldn't make a joke about the Illinois Enema Bandit today. People would be flipping their shit about sexual assault and lining up to call you the second coming of Hitler on Facebook.

    Today, Michael Kenyan would be a member of Trump's cabinet. Probably the head of the department of women's rights or something.

  19. M.... N....

    ❤🎸😎

  20. S.... B....

    ZAPPA FOREVER ! MUSIC IS THE BEST !!!!

  21. P.... M....

    One his best..Frank Zappa's...👍☝🎱🎵💉⬆➡⤴🔹⚫🇺🇸

  22. B.... ....

    Thanks for this...I saw FZ live 9 times...

  23. G.... S....

    The amazing Ray white (the assistant Illinois Enema Bandit) live on stage in New York

  24. M.... Z....

    The absolute best Zappa creation -
    "Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
    The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice"

  25. A.... K....

    Френк.... злодей... Жаль, что ушёл от нас.

  26. o.... ....

    July the 8th 1982, the night of the football word cup semi final Germany vs. France... Pistoia stadium, Tuscany, Italy. Frank Zappa close his concert with this song! I was there with two friends of mine, a great night, wonderful gig!

  27. R.... ....

    ...sometimes?

  28. O.... H....

    Frank Zappa inigualable no hay y no habrá otro igual a él...

  29. p.... s....

    I believe Michael has been nominated to head up Donald Trump's - ‘Committee on Women’s Issues.”

  30. D.... M....

    Splendid arrangement and awesome guitar work LIVE on stage for your enjoyment... JusbepumpineveryoneofemupwithabagfullaIllinoisenenemabanditjuice...

    D.... M....

    If i put that train of letters into the Utility Research Muffin 2000 it is clear as day
    Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
    The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

  31. B.... C....

    Very fortunate to have seen FZ live in 1980. This is my all time Zap favorite. Thanks for posting.

  32. a.... i....

    my favorit Franc Zappa's song !!

    a.... i....

    You Are Correct Sir!

  33. V.... B....

    Was at this concert

  34. A.... ....

    This album changed my life.

    A.... ....

    meins auch

  35. m.... ....

    Don Pardo! FTW!!!

  36. C.... L....

    Its good to listen on your day off :p

  37. A.... P....

    Don Pardo is my uncle RIP Frank Ray and Don. ☝

    A.... P....

    If Don Pardo was your uncle check out his 1st announcer job on an old time radio show called X Minus One ,he lasted a few dozen shows & moved up .

    A.... P....

    Hey Ray White is still here don’t be sayin scary shit like RIP ray

    A.... P....

    He was resplendent in a full white opera suit. We knew Frank had been on SNL several times since Halloween, but when Don came out...! I was fortunate to get tickets for the Felt Forum on Halloween and the Palladium on Dec 27 - at the end of the last one, a big banner unfurled saying WARNER BROTHERS SUCKS....

    A.... P....

    He must have had a great time doing this.

    A.... P....

    The sound of Don's voice makes me happy. He could read the craziest copy on SNL and I don't remember him ever cracking. They wrote some hilarious stuff that he had to read live on the air. He was an absolute pro.

  38. t.... l....

    the judge would say ; "no poo poo jokes"😂

  39. D.... B....

    The one dislike must be named Michael Kenyon

    D.... B....

    or roy estrada hahaha

    D.... B....

    @Austin Rosinski wow that went dark quick

  40. N.... M....

    this recort from 15-3-1978 fantastik

  41. z.... ....

    11:06 "Wait a minute. This is for Roy Estrada, wherever he is." http://ultimateclassicrock.com/roy-estrada-longtime-frank-zappa-bassist-sentenced-to-25-years-in-prison-for-child-molestation/

    z.... ....

    zichbold

    This was pretty Sad News when hearing about this on Roy... I would BET that FZ would have been Very Disappointed!

    z.... ....

    Jeezus Fucking Christ I had no idea

    z.... ....

    bedankt voor de informatie (anekdote), nuja, wij wisten van niks ...

  42. F.... Y....

    Zappa is the Best.......

    F.... Y....

    Absolutely the Most Original and Creative

  43. A.... R....

    trump could have did that now getaway with that fucken. bastard trump stupid fuck!!!!!!.

  44. G.... ....

    Lawd! The pitiful screams of all those college-educated women! (...just like when Trump won that election way back in 2016!)

    G.... ....

    Can you idiots maybe enjoy the fucking music and not bring your stupid political bullshit into everything for fucks sake?

    G.... ....

    @klesh No fucking shit! *Give it a fucking break already!*
    I love this song.

    G.... ....

    @klesh They need an enema.

    G.... ....

    @Evan Oswald how fucking stupid is you? go live in venezuela you moron. this is the greatest country in the world...you don't like it? get out!!!

    G.... ....

    @Owen Harris hey goofball, you may not know this..but this greatest of all nations was not founded as a democracy. this is a representative republic! democracy, just like communism does not work. never has, and never will. get a refund on the brain you got...it don't work as designed.

  45. A.... R....

    cool song thanks Frank zappa cracks me up!!!

  46. r.... B....

    Disgraceful!



    The Executive Council of the ASCRS (Illinois branch) does not endorse the procedure described in these lyrics

    r.... B....

    Michael Kenyan? Is that you?