Clash, The - Ivan Meets G.I. Joe Lyrics






So you're on the floor, at 54
Think you can last - at the Palace
Does your body go to the to and fro?
But tonight's the night - or didn't you know
That Ivan meets G.I. Joe

He tried his tricks- that Ruskie bear
The United Nations said it's all fair
He did the radiation - the chemical plague
But he could not win - with a cossack spin

The Vostok Bomb - the Stalin strike
He tried every move - he tried to hitch hike
He drilled a hole - like a Russian star
He made every move in his repertoire

When Ivan meet G.I. Joe

Now it was G.I. Joe's turn to blow
He turned it on - cool and slow
He tried a payphone call to the Pentagon
A radar scan - a leviathan

He wiped the Earth - clean as a plate
What does it take to make a Ruskie break?
But the crowd are bored and off they go
Over the road to watch China blow!

When Ivan meets G.I. Joe





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Clash, The Ivan Meets G.I. Joe Comments
  1. R.... N....

    Space ship velocity !

  2. L.... A....

    The only band that matters

  3. T.... ....

    a satirical song of the cold war

  4. d.... t....

    This song was the Soundtrack of a Comic strip, that cames inside the Vinyl album.
    Genius ahah.
    There's an upload somewhere with it.

  5. t.... h....

    space invaders as the backing was a genius touch given the topic of the song

  6. D.... M....

    topper could sing

  7. c.... ....

    We did that at the elbe river (US/Russia) in WW2, cutting the german army in two.

    We were the greatest military alliance in earths history

    c.... ....

    Earth's. Back to school.

  8. H.... G....

    This song is about the USA & the USSR partaking in a cold war dance off. USSR does pretty well, USA comes on and the crowd gets bored and goes off to watch China.

  9. s.... ....

    Topper Headon was the musical genius of the band, the best musician in the band by far and The Clash suffered when he left the band.

    s.... ....

    Less acid for you

  10. d.... b....

    My money is on gi joe

  11. O.... W....

    The audio sounds muffled, Ive heard clearer.

  12. l.... p....

    Space Invaders in the background ...genius !

  13. S.... J....

    Topper you were the BEST drummer in that era. By a mile and a half.

    S.... J....

    Some John Doe
    You said it all. ;)

    S.... J....

    Second to Phil Collins i hope!

    S.... J....

    Robert Jonēs
    I prefer T. Headon, but Phil Collins was an excellent drummer.

    S.... J....

    @dread true Hes kinda like Ginger Baker, every music artist from the 70s till the mid 80s is good😂

  14. O.... G....

    Happy Birthday today(June 26) to Mick Jones. Cheers!

  15. J.... 9....

    So you're on the floor, at 54
    Think you can last - at the Palace
    Does your body go to the to and fro?
    But tonight's the night - or didn't you know
    That Ivan meets G.I. Joe

    He tried his tricks- that Ruskie bear
    The United Nations said it's all fair
    He did the radiation - the chemical plague
    But he could not win - with a cossack spin

    The Vostok Bomb - the Stalin strike
    He tried every move - he tried to hitch hike
    He drilled a hole - like a Russian star
    He made every move in his repertoire

    When Ivan meet G.I. Joe

    Now it was G.I. Joe's turn to blow
    He turned it on - cool and slow
    He tried a payphone call to the Pentagon
    A radar scan - a leviathan

    He wiped the Earth - clean as a plate
    What does it take to make a Ruskie break?
    But the crowd are bored and off they go
    Over the road to watch China blow!

    When Ivan meets G.I. Joe

  16. J.... ....

    What a cute voice of Top

  17. p.... ....

    tonight's the night

  18. s.... ....

    Topper was the musical mastermind behind the Band, so much so that the band fell apart briefly after his departure, with Mick's departure being the last straw. Strummer, Mick and Simonon were the masterminds behind the lyrics. The Clash were absolutely amazing!

  19. m.... ....

    Not only is this music some of the worst of the decade (Bananarama, the Clash: lost soul sisters?), but the same pricks still listen to it. No wonder the Metallica kids beat you up.

    m.... ....

    T H E
    B A I T
    I S
    T O O
    R E A L

    m.... ....

    T H E
    B A I T
    I S
    T O O
    R E A L

    m.... ....

    T H E
    B A I T
    I S
    T O O
    R E A L

    m.... ....

    Aw, he's sad that I'm right.

    m.... ....

    You sound mentally ill.

  20. R.... B....

    Guile vs. Zangief... He could not win with the Cossack Spin.

  21. S.... ....

    does anyone else notice the chef boyardee song playing at the beginning of this song?

  22. 8.... A....

    Space invaders

  23. Z.... 8....

    Bonjour

  24. D.... 4....

    Early eighties when I first listened to Sandinista didn't really like it straight away, but it grew and the brilliance of their music and message came through. So many styles and innovations here.
    But the lyrics all through the album still speak load today across the globe.
    Help us if Trump gets elected. Putin meets GI Trump. HELP!!!!

    D.... 4....

    +Discharge 44 Blast OFFFF! The Clash coined a similar phrase in their early days of punk. It was Fuck Off.

  25. w.... ....

    usa on its way to syria

    w.... ....

    +wwwALLVACLIFTcom Never mind USA its Russia we need to worry about. Ivan Putin. This is a new cold war isn't it. How the hell did this happen again?

    w.... ....

    It's BULLSHIT This time the Left wants to Punish the Russians for NOT being Communist :D

    w.... ....

    By the way things are with Putin it seems he wants to make a new Tsarist Russia that thrives on imperialism and empire building. Sounds similar to Hitler's occupation of Czechoslovakia and then moving on to Poland then a world war escalated.

    w.... ....

    @Frank K not really

  26. C.... F....

    This was one of my first albums on tape (other early faves are Talking Heads' "Speaking In Tongues," U2's "War," Siouxsie and the Banshees' "Juju" and the B-52s' and the Germs and the Cramps' first records on vinyl). My parents had some hip shit they didn't realize truly ruled. But because the only Clash I'd ever heard was this album, I didn't realize the Clash wasn't considered a disco band until I was a year or two older. Because this whole fucking album is disco.

    C.... F....

    +Captain Freedom Sad and untrue. Everyone deserves an opinion i guess. There like assholes. Everyones got one.

    C.... F....

    Hahahaha, yep. Shitty disco and the Clash: I think you've found the rock and roll missing link. There never has been worse music.

  27. c.... ....

    I wish there were more songs with Topper's vocals.

  28. C.... B....

    05/30/2015. ...HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY,TOPPER BABY!!! :-) The Greatest Drummer in the Whole Spacious Universe!!! ;-)  I wish Good Health and Happiness to Him!!! Big Kiss!!! Their/His Biggest Hungarian Fan from Budapest,Simone. Cheers!!! P.S.:We (All of Fans) Love You,Dear...God Bless You,Toppsy! :-) Genius and Professional.Thank You Everything...The Real Music!!! ;-)

    C.... B....

    Damn straight . Topper will always be the KING of Drummers . The man made mistakes and beat them . Topper is known as the Human Drum Machine because he is the best . I saw a list the other day that placed Terry over him . I love Terry too but even Joe admitted Topper being fired killed The Clash . There are only two drummers I consider his peers and that is Charlie Watts and Stewart Copeland and even still Topper is the king . Always will be . Love you Topper .

    C.... B....

    My opinion,the real problem's name was Bernie Rhodes...
    ...and I see 3 "little" problem too:
    1.Joe was stuck-up (but I love him!) ,
    2.Mick was so demanding in music (but I love him too!) ,
    3.Topper's addiction.
    So not little Topper was the one and only problem here!
    Bernie said to Joe that's the end with Topps.Mick cried,Joe loved him too...Topper wanted a last chance,but Bernie said:"NO!"...(I hate this Rhodes man,very unsympathyc.) HE was the real big problem!
    2 January 1982,Tokyo,Sun Plaza Hall Concert.Topper was on the Top! :) He was very brilliant as usual...and in May...kicked him.WHY?Bernie was a scumbag!Terry Chimes or Pete Howard were sober,but Topper was much,much better with heroin in his system than this 2 drummer guys together! :) So Bernie...I'm not the only one,many fans "love you" so much! :/
    If you read this,Toppsy...You were/are the Best! ;) THE REAL MUSICIAN to me!

    C.... B....

    @Simone Simonon yes ! I am happy to see someone else willing to say Bernie Rhodes was the problem . He was the Malcolm McClaren of The Clash .
    I will always love Joe and Mick . Paul is my favorite as I always was drawn to him . Topper ? I always had a soft spot for him and am glad he beat Heroin and forgave all . He admitted his faults but knew he got dumped on so his sobriety was all the more poignant Best damn drummer of all time .

  29. P.... L....

    The CLASH...the Greatest ROCK BAND ever!

    P.... L....

    Clive smith fuck no all the other rock bands are absolute shit.

    P.... L....

    The Clash is punk rock band, not rock

    P.... L....

    So much than that, my sweet summer child.

  30. M.... g....

    I like.

  31. L.... T....

    I like the jam but those sound effects are too loud. They drown out the music and lyrics :/

    L.... T....

    @***** Oh my gosh!! :D That's such a great comparision! XD LOL 
    I can see the game titles...
    Korea Klash!
    Vietnam Invasion!
    Cuban Conundrum!
    Attack in Afghan!

    L.... T....

    @***** I wasn't being sarcastic. I really thought that was a cool analogy for the Cold War. 

    L.... T....

    @***** Nono :) It's not that I don't like those sound effects. I like retro games too, I just felt like they interrupted the music. But after you posted that analogy I listened to the song again. I saw what you meant :) The sound effects really do add to it. It builds an image in my head of a gaming arcade with America and Russia competing and the song playing in the background over speakers. 

  32. C.... M....


    This song reminds me of Aldous Huxley's story "The Bookshop". The plot seems to be taking place in a Ska Punk Club in London.  For a timeless moment all is so far away from Ivan and G.I. Joe ... 

  33. C.... K....

    me gusta el ritmo parece una cancion de travestis 

    C.... K....

    por el intro

    C.... K....

    Why all the hispanics are gay???

    C.... K....

    Gerardo 999 eres un puto estupido!

  34. S.... S....

    this isn't like the album, we have the original 3 lp set ( this is a crude mix)

  35. B.... E....

    Topper Headon iz DA' MAN!

  36. i.... l....

    Topper's voice is cute...

  37. j.... m....

    Clash all day every day.. I was born back in '86 and love the clash!

  38. C.... G....

    the good thing about such band is that upon colliding with its sound the immediate ricochet can bring awareness to your polemic if you have it

    C.... G....

    Less coffee for you

  39. C.... G....

    by now if you are still cold you must be at war.

  40. m.... ....

    Oh. This is why I didn't like the Clash. Christ, this won an *award*.

    m.... ....

    The clash aren't popular? Who the fuck is ewan dumbson?

    m.... ....

    menckencynic ‘no wonder they were never popular’ yeah that’s why when they went to NYC for the first time they had to do 16 more gigs then what they had planned because they had oversold their shows 😂 you have to know at least a bit of what you’re talking about when you take down ppl 👏🏼

    m.... ....

    The idea that the Clash "were never popular" is incorrect.

    In 2008, the Clash had already sold well over 23 million albums, worldwide.

    The band released a total of six studio albums, between 1977 and 1985. In the UK, all six were certified Gold, and one of those went Platinum. In the US, four of the six were certified Gold, and two of those went on to become Platinum. The Clash had three Top Ten albums in either the UK or the US ("Combat Rock" made it to number 2 in the UK, and to number 7 in the US).

    Six of the band's singles reached the Top 20 in the UK, and two did so in the US. The band had one Top Ten single in both countries: "Rock the Casbah" in the US, and "Should I Stay or Should I Go" which made it to number 1 in the UK (when it was re-released in 1991).

    The Clash have always been, and continue to be, very popular.

    The triple-LP "Sandinista" is experimental, and it has several cuts which would not have made it onto a traditional LP. Few listeners will dig "Ivan Meets G.I. Joe" and even though I've loved it since I first heard it in 1987, I'd call it a throwaway, by most standards.

    m.... ....

    Lol, pathetic

    m.... ....

    this was toppers first song dumbass

  41. M.... v....

    Que hermoso disco por el amor de clash♥

  42. M.... ....

    Putin meets Obama
    Big clouds over the Horizon

  43. N.... N....

    Love Topper's voice !

  44. E.... ....

    Topper Headon on lead vocal. 

  45. C.... C....

    anyone notice that's Topper on vocals?

  46. L.... C....

    Ronald Reagan was also the one who funded death squads in Nicaragua, pretty much committed high treason and flooded the U.S with Cocaine so he is hardly a saint.

  47. A.... K....

    This is essentially laughing in the face of the Cold War, fantastic.

  48. j.... ....

    Well, if you don't like it you don't has to come here!

  49. g.... ....

    Sandinista is one of the most underrated albums of all time. Any album that has THAT many great songs, that much diversity, and "filler" songs that are still creative and interesting, as well as great songwriting and good lyrics is easily one of the greatest albums of all time. I don't understand why Sandinista doesn't get the credit that it deserves.

    g.... ....

    It doesn't get the credit it deserves because it takes some effort to come to terms with.

    g.... ....

    Yep, so I made an "best of Sandinista".
    Everyone can see it in my Playlists, lol

    g.... ....

    You twat

  50. J.... ....

    Topper Headon doesn't get the credit he deserves. Hats off to the man.

  51. M.... ....

    Topper Headon sang this one

  52. K.... ....

    Is it just me, or does Topper's voice not match his appearance.

  53. E.... ....

    I can say the same thing, I often feel alone with my love of both Hetalia and real music. The Clash will always stay one of my favourite band ! I didn't no Sandinista very well, I used to listen Combat Rock, but this album is amazing !

  54. J.... M....

    My name is pretty close to Joe, and I have a friend named Ivan. A mutual friend introduced me to The Clash with this song, saying it was about the two of us. :p (Of course I do know what the song is really about)

  55. D.... A....

    Agreed

  56. C.... ....

    Thanks for uploading. Haven't heard it since the grainy recording i made from the John Peel show a long long time ago now..... Best album they ever made IMHO

  57. i.... ....

    Sandinista is The Clash's White Album. Much criticized, but musically brilliant.

  58. D.... ....

    Topper Headon, the drummer

  59. S.... ....

    This song is best appreciated as a sequel to the Who's "Pinball Wizard." This time around, the game is Missile Command.

  60. O.... G....

    1 moron

  61. k.... ....

    Topper should have sang more.
    Did a great job here.

  62. k.... ....

    Best Album ever

  63. B.... ....

    There was a great little comic that went with this song on the original album lyrics sheet.

  64. t.... ....

    Sandinista is such an underated album

  65. j.... ....

    this is topper? wow, he sings really good.

  66. A.... N....

    who dislike this song is forever alone.

  67. I.... C....

    Strummer's birthday.

  68. D.... ....

    Ivan meets GI JOOOOOEEE... (Ivan Meets GI Joe)

  69. m.... ....

    i have always bean a clash fan@@@@///{}{}{

  70. J.... P....

    Love that Topper is the one singing.

  71. h.... ....

    check my last comment

  72. h.... ....

    i have one of them uploaded to my alt account now. its the one in the vid response

  73. R.... ....

    Yes plz!!

  74. h.... ....

    Yea i got two live versions in my library. watn me to upload them?

  75. h.... ....

    My favorite album of all time

  76. h.... ....

    It is a great song :)

  77. r.... ....

    your wrong, it was on youtube but with a funny color mix animation sucks

  78. S.... ....

    Such an awesome song! They were really ahead of their time; The Clash. 5/5!

    ~Shadow

  79. h.... ....

    No problem dude

  80. t.... j....

    "But the crowd are bored and off they go
    Over the road to watch China blow!"


    Great tune, been searching for awhile for it here on YT. Thanks for the upload

  81. h.... ....

    Haha. Thats odd. Your welcome though :)

  82. F.... ....

    Weird that out of the blue I was singing it myself a couple of hours ago, and I hadn't heard it in a few weeks. Thanks for putting it up.

  83. h.... ....

    Whats amazing is that he plays this live on drums and sings at the same time. thats pretty impressive

  84. G.... L....

    yah that's true.

  85. h.... ....

    Yes thats true. The only song he takes vox on.

  86. V.... P....

    yes thats truth! In this song the singer it's Tooper Headon, the drummer. I think