Bull, Dan - I'm Going To Be A Daddy Lyrics

When she showed me the pregnancy test, I felt numb
I thought these things were supposed to tell the facts
Howcome we got this outcome?
They're meant to be 99.9% accurate, but now I doubt them
I thought maybe one day I may want a baby
But not here, not now, what, are you crazy?
It's too soon, I'm too stupid to build a human nest
I'm a man child hiding in the shadow of my student debts
We always used protection, at least to my recollection
Well, I guess this is another new regret for my collection
And I won't kill a fetus even if it's millimetres
If I'm big enough to spill a seed
Then I'm big enough to let it breathe
A fellow creature, full of genes of each of us
We're big enough to bring it up and let it develop features
Left speechless
But my ears hurt even when I hear tiny noises
How am I going to deal with each night of crying high-pitched voices?
When they're in pain, there's no way to make them say it softly
I'm good with kids as long as someone can take them off me
And what'll remain of a relationship that's already strained?
The love that's left is drained and plumbed into a baby's veins
And what if this isn't the right relationship to stay with?
At this stage in the day it may just be too late to change it

I'm going to be be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified
I'm going to throw up and there's nowhere I can ever hide
I want to stop, I want to wake up and get off this ride
I'm going to be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified

My life is rather good, it's not time for fatherhood
Looking after cats is hard enough, I can't give up my livelihood
I can't be a role model, my own soul's swaddled
My train of thought's like a pram rolling on old cobbles
How can I change the habit of a lifetime, I'm a lazy chappy
Change that? I've never had to change a baby's nappy
Don't want to watch the Tweenies on the TV
I like cult classic black and white cinema, fuck CBeebies
I don't have a choice any more
I don't have a voice any more
Can't make noise any more
I can't have a bottle of brandy and a LAN party with the boys any more
The way I want to steer the ship and the way it heads's all different
The game of life's flipped from single player to a co-op escort mission
How can I provide enough safety and security
When it feels like it's the whole world versus her and me?
Poland versus Germany, east versus west
Earth's eating itself, while I've invited you to be its guest
What can I bring to the table? I'm not mentally stable
But they say parenting's innate and we're all meant to be able
But what if it's I'll, what it's disabled, what if it's not mine?
What if it dies, what if it grows up to be a horrible little gobshite
What if it hates me? What if it's not just one kid
What if it listens to this song and feels unwanted

I'm going to be be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified
I'm going to throw up and there's nowhere I can ever hide
I want to stop, I want to wake up and get off this ride
I'm going to be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified

I hope I can be helpful during the birth
Providing backup for the mother of the youngest of the children of earth
When it's eighteen, I'll be forty-eight
When it's forty-eight, I'll be seventy-eight
And when it's seventy-eight, I should be dead in the grave
Or in my place waiting at the heavenly gate
Every day, a memory fades except for some strange cases
Like when I'm travelling back to the past and wondering whether to change places
When she showed me the pregnancy test, I felt numb
But now I've settled down I've got one message:

I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy

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Bull, Dan I'm Going To Be A Daddy Comments
  1. dj brachiosaurus forever

    Wow its kind of depressing

  2. Ben Aaron

    "...from single player to a co-op escort mission..." Thanks, Dan.

  3. purple demon


  4. woutert114

    So is that a firm no on being gay? Well there go all my hopes and dreams...

  5. Secret Finders

    Who’s the mom

  6. garconrouge

    Honestly why the fuck did we think this was a joke ???

  7. Tucker Chase

    congrats dan

  8. SpecHimOut

    'And I won't kill a fetus, even if it's millimeters, cause if I'm big enough to spill a seed then I'm big enough to let it breath.' Dude those lyrics are what I've basically always said to myself. I have a step daughter and a son now so I can understand almost exactly what you were going through, when we found out my missus was pregnant with my son we didn't know wtf to do or think but now he's 6 weeks old and my life is completely different from what it was almost a year ago when we found out.

    Anyway mad respect Dan, love your work 👍

  9. Aztec

    Make sure to change succesion law from gavelkind to something else or else your sons will split all your titles

  10. Sinful Life

    You fucked without a condom... what do you expect?

    Ash Boylan

    cha0s because a condom is the only form of birth control

    dj brachiosaurus forever

    Mental asylum

  11. Justin James

    I'm gonna be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified.

    For real.

  12. Shauna Womack

    what u been doing dan

  13. Shauna Womack

    what u been doing dan

  14. Titanboa357

    dad bull

  15. Lethal.-

    You Are Gonna Raise A Good Baby Rapper

  16. Adrian Baldenegro

    I want a kid and I'm only 11


    Adrian Baldenegro OMG SAME I'M 11 AND I WANT CHILDREN

  17. 04whim

    So the April fool was that it was genuine. I, just...

  18. spiralrose

    Glad all turned out well.

    Your personal feelings aside, Dan the fact is thirteen-year-old boys also " spill seed." Doesn't do their thirteen -year-old girlfriends any good to " let it breathe."

    The best contraceptives fail.,even tubal sand vacectomies.

    Seriously though, glad your partner's unplanned pregnancy worked out for both of you. .

  19. Rollerpuntazo

    1 april: REALLY XD???

  20. Martin Finnerup

    This seriously gave me the chills.
    I am not a dad, but it still hit pretty close to home, since I have had the pregnancy scare quite a few times already.

  21. jester 12308

    'what if it listens to this song and feels unwanted?' i'm not one to swear often but god damn

  22. Ann Anemone

    Funny enough, my cousin was born on the day you posted this

  23. First

    I half wanna leave the biggest cursing comment ever, and half wanna know where he got tht egg... guess neither shall be achieved.

  24. Rabbid Teddy Gaming

    Uh....congrats? Seriously though, I love this song and I love your work Dan Bull.

  25. TerrifyingNoise

    April fools 0:01

  26. Christena

    Respect! Congrats. Welcome to the world we were never ready for.

  27. Austin Giff

    Is this song the Truth?!

  28. ReaperHazards


  29. Akmal Prasetiyo

    you are uploading in the wrong time but fuck the pass

  30. Veluxcion

    Man I'm like depressed for Dan, I mean his ears are fucked and every small noise hurts him making music hurts him dealing with a kid that screams and cries every night, it just seems.... Dan I am truly sorry for you, man.

  31. Yan Pagh

    Congratulations! A blessing from the cosmos.

  32. I'm going home.

    My eyeballs are sweating

  33. Rash B blin

    U forgot condom?

    Congratulations tho.

  34. Gri8o

    Honestly I think this is one of his best songs it's so brutality honest and has his raw feelings in it.

  35. Dickbutt Jones

    you can be my daddy ;)

  36. MWR plays growtopia

    dan bull junior

  37. Kmn483

    The egg makes me think this isn't serious, but the rap is so deep and sad. Then again it was made on April 1st... but also the comment "It was scary to show her this song, but it was my honest feelings when I found out and I wanted other expectant dads to know they aren't alone feeling like this" So I guess it's serious?

    Why censor fuck in the chorus but use it 2:27?

  38. Themadmearcat Gameing

    Congrats man

  39. ADumbCanadian

    You will do a good job ad a dad m8

  40. Ron Shalva

    lol u had sex xddddddddd

  41. Miles Per Hour

    I feel really bad

  42. Ron

    Egg indeed

  43. Fireniner3

    2:46 - 3:17 Hits close to home.

  44. YungKangaroo

    Nice description

  45. Ayinde Prather

    Congratulations Dan, your gonna be a great dad

  46. Kevin Ahmetovic

    aprill firssst!!!

  47. Kevin Ahmetovic

    aprill firssst!!!

  48. Sikqe

    if his child see's this when its older then it will think its unwanted (i said "it" because i dont know if its a boy or girl)

  49. Cat's friend

    I can't imagine what all the American viewers think "CBeebies" is! If you're American and you hadn't heard of CBeebies before this song tell me what you think it it

  50. Based Gogeta

    I'm waiting for all the 'fist me daddy' jokes

  51. Unspoken

    He did teh kreempai

  52. ERB MF

    Do you really recently born son. What's his name?

  53. Oisin McClelland

    Very emotional song Dan 👍🏻

  54. Alice Humbles

    The april fools, was an april fools? holy shit... aprilception...

  55. Universe3074

    Dan, you troll.

    Dominik Mišo

    why troll? he is dad :)


    @Cinema 4D Animations I know, its reverse trolling, its a troll because everyone thinks its a joke, but its not

  56. AKA mathers

    lol Dan bull that just white ball where your son

  57. Kikikikoboy

    How did you keep that egg unbroken the entire video? I can't even hold a normal egg for 5 seconds, you sir, are talented.

  58. simon jonson

    120 people were just like, fuck this, fuck life. There are not enough dislikes on this video

  59. Hollotom 02

    If you raise the kid to not swear, then like when theyre a teen, link them to your YouTube channel. Show them the fuck everything song.



  60. logan colt

    You'll be a brilliant dad but next time wrap it before you tap it

  61. MtDewaholic

    Happy fathers

  62. Chiko

    Dad Bull

  63. chaz sourn

    HE GOT LAID YO AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY 👏👏👏👏👏👏😝😝😝💯💯💯💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️❗️⁉️💯❗️⁉️💯❓❔⁉️👍

  64. ryan nolan

    I just now got the "production assistant: Caroline" joke

  65. Øh Heathens

    Why is this song so lit?

  66. Eight Virtues

    The terror slows down after around one year. I was like "holy shit" up until then. After two or three years you can have a semi-logical conversation about abstract things like "sharing" or "helping people". It gets better, but you have to remain yourself and impart the best of that in spite of any "distractions". You will have a new best friend.

  67. Major Wolf

    I read the title and was like "wwwwwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUUTtttttttttttttttttttttt"

  68. mp3talon

    love tweenies

  69. Mt. Stone

    I don't remember if I left a comment saying congratulations but, congratulations. (I knew that it wasn't an April Fools joke, cause who jokes about having a baby.)

  70. Andrew Locker

    Why is northernlion listed in the comments

  71. Brenda Peterson

    I feel that u will be a great dad I know how u feel

  72. Stodgypigeon061


  73. Mr. Quaint

    ohhhhh i just seen your new video you are a video and congratz

  74. Chef Geoffrey Excellence


  75. RemeiRagingFurry


  76. Brim-sker Douglasson

    Jesus I thought this was a joke.

    Jesus Christ

    Don't worry about it. A lot of people did. I still love you for you.

    Brim-sker Douglasson

    +Jesus Christ oh thank god, I was worried. Thank you.

    Jesus Christ

    I got you. By the way, just for future reference, you can thank him, but do not count on him talking back. he is some issues. Oh and you are welcome.

  77. ScreenTimeOnly

    welcome to the world of milk and huney biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitcchhhhh

  78. MooseGoose


  79. worlds worst gamer 17

    who is the mommy

  80. worlds worst gamer 17

    i thought this was fake

  81. SuperMomBomb


  82. Dan Bull

    Now I'm actually a dad I can tell you that the most accurate part of this video is at 2:20


    star wars fans do get laid


    I know it's late, but congratulations!

    SirGames Alot

    Dan Bull That was just a egg


    Dan Bull n

    Stuart Burchell


  83. Isaac Dore

    This songs a lot better now knowing that its true

  84. HiddenWorldForge

    well... I guess he wasn't wrong

  85. Kiznish a

    And it turns out this was actually true haha.

  86. RustlingJimmy

    sooooo,this prank wasnt a prank at all...dad bull

  87. Isaac Scott

    When Dan was telling the truth

  88. choco animation

    We all thought dan was joking

  89. NoyzBot

    good game, dan. you double-punked us. congratulations!

  90. Wil

    Anyone here from his baby unboxing vid??

  91. ꧁Epoch_Win꧂

    Had to come back to this, you really threw everyone for a loop Dan XD

  92. Orion Gaming

    Good job Dan 😊 You mind fucked the channel 😂

  93. ym_Raisin

    We just got hit with some incredible reverse psychology. Well done Dad Bull

  94. Sheldon Shounia

    "everyday a memory fades except for some strange cases like when I'm travelling back to the past and wondering whether to change places"
    -Dan Bull
    also WOW this not an April fools joke congrats Dan you will make an awesome dad

  95. bryce105212

    Dad bull

  96. Milena Danilczyk

    i hope his child is going to be a youtuber one day so he can make a reaction/thought video