Andrew Jackson Jihad (AJJ) - Big Bird Lyrics

"I AM ALIVEEEEEEEEE"

Im afraid that i somehow caused my family harm...

I know i did. And im sorry. Theyre good people. My dog licked me so i know her crackhead ass still loves me :(

I think about Kitty Genovese a lot because of this song

Great song to cry to at four am

I can sing this whole album by heart but this is the song that will get others to sing with me.

The ending always gets my cat excited

why did the lyric "i'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore" get me so bad.

"But the big red bird that lives under the city
Doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night."


No clue what it means but it's stuck in my head and I love it.

just click the vid for instant emotional purification

Wow this song actually makes me fucking cry like ACTUALLY cry tears came from my eyes holy shit

i hate the fact that i cant listen to this song without crying, so i only listen to it when i feel like drowning. the way ajj captured such a real-life ,relateble word for word masterpiece is insane. ajj was ahead of his time, and for that i am thankful for existence.

This song makes me tear up every time.

When I realized what I interpret as the meaning of "I am a knife" I fell even deeper in love with this song. The narrator has become so anxious and suspicious of the world around him that he has unintetionally become a weapon always on defense. Really touching (esp because I deal with PTSD) and relieving to hear someone honestly express their fears and acknowledge their limitations and work they need to face with themselves. <3

i think this is my favourite song ever. its so special. ill never get tired of this.

i heard this for the first time the other day and it was like love at first sight. i've never instantly loved a song like this one. its like someone cracked open my skull and wrote a song with my brains...

simply the greatest song of all time

It’s like my conscience gained autonomy and wrote a song.

Paranoia: The Song

I'm afraid I won't find love.

This song is so precious. I think it's more than just a song. These lyrics are words touching and understanding the souls of so many people. Thanks for this masterpiece!

I just found this band recently and I'm torn between liking them because of their unique sound and singing about stuff that most people deal with like doubt, anxiety, depression, and fear which is refreshing compared to the constant barrage of mainstream music played on the radio that only talks about sex, drugs, partying, and thinking you're the best thing ever, and thinking they're kinda just whiny, cry babies lol I think a band can be both refreshing and annoying, and still be enjoyable I guess. The best that I can describe this band is I simultaneously want to sing along with the songs while also wanting to punch the singer in the throat.

I’m afraid that my family and friends will leave me if they find out that I’m trans

Same...

My immediate family already knows, and is supportive, but my extended family worries me. The family Christmas party is coming up. None of these people have seen me since the summer, and I've been on hormones for two months now, and don't know how apparent it is. I could either bear with pretending to be a man around them one last time, but I don't know if I can still pull it off. So I either have to come out to them before the party, or just not go. I genuinely don't know what to do.

Family can be a minefield. Some of them will reject you when you come out, but that's okay. Those who would reject you never really loved you. You don't need them. Those who do love you will stay by your side. You should treasure the latter, and try to disregard the former.

To everyone in this comment section. I would like to have a hug from all of you. You guys really make me not feel so alone.

A hug given is a hug received 🤗

reminds me of my alcohol addiction and anxiety

I highly recommend listening to this album from beginning to end. This song on its own it phenomenal , but as a grand finale to the rest of the album, it left me truly speechless

Can't think of a more triggering song

Andrew Jackson Jihad rule! Check my channel? New to this. ^.^

its fucked what happened to Kitty Genovese.

my favorite part is at the end after the drums i think you can hear sean saying "im walking on sunshine"

Fuuuck...

this is such a brilliant end to the album i love all the callbacks to other songs like the line "its harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else" and shit

This hurts so much.

"I'm *afraid* of god, I'm *afraid* to believe."

"I'm afraid I've caused my family harm."
I literally trembled.

swear to god theres just tracks of theres that i just cant listen to without breaking down lol thats why i love it tho

I'm afraid that the girl I'm having a long distance with finds someone else

In afraid the girl i like wont be my friend after she rejects me.

i wish i were a little less of a coward.

I'm afraid.

I'm walking on sunshine

Woah oh

It took me forever to figure out that's what he said.

heard this song a million times. but every once in awhile it still manages to make me cry. today was one of those times.

My father says he does not like songs like these because, I quote, "I've had enough of all this sad, depressive crap. I've had enough of it in my life."
He says there's nothing wrong with it but, he's just had enough.There's a point I guess.

The last couple of lyrics always makes my spine shiver

I knew how powerful of a song this was when I first heard it.
I could relate to the majority of the lines and felt like it basically was written for me.
However, I never actually invoked emotion from it.
I mean, not until this afternoon, when I came home from school, being told I was a disappointment to one of the teachers I look up to.
I turned it on and ended up sobbing on the floor of my bathroom and then, after the song ended, I went into a psychotic rage of a war against myself for a good, maybe, twenty minutes,
Powerful shit indeed.

Crescent ballroom's version of this tears me apart. hearing so many people sing and shout the lyrics just gets to you

Daniel Gavin thank you, you're absolutely right

the maggots in my ears crawl out as the spiders and sand crabs fight over the puddle of my mind as my body enters coffin, ditch, gutter, hearse saving themselves so I enter plot and death truly alone not even the Ravens pick my bones worms crawl around me so as not to get portrayed as earthen friends of my desolate soul drowning in my emptiness, hollowness floats my spirit through my nothingness my heart rendered a dysmll abyss.

Holy edge, batman!

Does the beginning remind anyone else of Pink Floyd's The Wall?

"I'm afraid of my grandfather's cancer."
No.
"I'm afraid of my mother's dying arm."
Stop it!
"I'm afraid that I am tearing my family apart!"
*GODDAMNIT WHY!*

I'm afraid of the way I live my life.
I'm afraid of the way I don't.
I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't.
I'm afraid of God.
I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave.
I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore.
I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die.
And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind.
I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks.
I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.
But the big red bird that lives under the city
doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night.
By burning alive.
I'm afraid of my grandfather's cancer.
And I'm afraid of my mom's dying arm.
I'm afraid that I've somehow caused my family harm.
I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough.
I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough.
It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else.
I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city
doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night.
So I bought a knife.
I am a knife.

It’s hard to tell, but at the end he yells “I’m a Knife Man!” Under all the musical explosion

Q BAD ESSA MUSICA

aaaand I hate myself again.

how did i miss this

Andrew Jackson Jihad is just so raw emotion you get lost sometimes.

please please please

it's my birthday. I listened to this song at least 5 times today. love you all...

p1nkf1oyd13 hey happy very belated birthday

is he talking about sesame street?

I started listening to andrew jackson jihad about 2 years ago and I have been looking for some other bands like AJJ does anyone have some recommendations?

Kosaku Kawajiri I've heard wingnut but I'll give ghost mice a listen

Paul baribeau, teen suicide

Paper Wrist I just started to listen to them I love I'll be my own hell but I'm yet to hear any of their other albums yet

waste yrself if my fav. Dc Snuff film is also great, not a fan of their last one though

tbh they arent the same style but ajj toured a lot with Bomb! The Music Industry and now that they are dissolved they tour with Jeff Rosenstock sometimes. Id give both a listen

Am I the only one getting BoJack Horseman vibes from this?

ohmyfuckinggodyes.
I'm literally watching Bojack on mute white listening to this

I remember one night saying I was not dealing well into a skype group of my friends. They asked what was wrong and the best I could say was "I suppose it's the big bird under the city."

Probably.

I'm afraid of religious people,
does that count?

"And I'm afraid of the words in my notebook" 🙃🙃🙃

if you like this. I bet you like 4chan...

jesus christ nigga

i remember this is first AJJ song i heard i was 14 thank you AJJ for being with me since then

okeanos this album has helped me get through so much shit in my life

Δανάη Μαρία Oh shit I’m 14 now lol

"I'm scared of my grandfather's cancer" ffFUCK

I see a comparison of this to the 2016 United States Presidential Election.

I Know BOO HOO

Such a "real" song. Many pieces of music portray romantic or even unrealistic settings towards which we, as listeners, are supposed to relate towards.

This, however, is as real as it gets. Everyone has fears or even phases of deep and pressing anxiety. Heck, albeit a small fear it can build up to become something way bigger.

This song - and I think I read this in the comments of either this video or on another one about it - is to me the "anthem of the brave". Facing your fears head on.

And that knife metaphor...Coming full circle in an album like this is amazing and adds so much more power to the piece of work as an album rather than a collection of songs. The latter's totally fine, but works like Tool's Lateralus and AJJ's Knife man do this masterfully.

could not have said it any better myself.

Kerkelinker well said brah

Depending on my mood the knife metaphor changes to me. What is your interpretation?

the lyrics can rly apply to a ton of people, but my goodness if that matters, this is one of the saddest if not the saddest song ive ever heard

I can't get this song out from under my skin. Too many of the lyrics are relatable to my life currently

That's this entire band for me. They get me like no other band does.

I got kinda confused at the end
because of the House Sparrow noises.

There are a lot of those where I live.

"I wish I were a little less of a coward"

So do I

You're brave enough to listen to this song. +1 on you; on this alone we could be friends. Hit me up if you need it.

Hermunkle thanks man. seriously brought a tear to my fucking eyes seeing humans even offering to help each other. never change man

Y'all are wonderful human beings. Thank you :,)

@Michah McCullough +1 on you as well. Empathy can be a struggle; not because it's hard to feel for another person but because it is hard to see and feel another's hurt. Keep up that struggle friend. And before I get all weepy myself, I wander off to become my alternate internet bridge troll persona. I don't want folks to think I went all soft on them.

3:42 A.M

4:36 A.M

5:22 A.M

Fernando Hernandez 1:16 AM

HEAVY, HEAVY floyd influence here. they use a lot of the same chords pink floyd did, almost straight from nobody home.

cookie kat HOLY CRAP NOBODY HOME IS THE 16TH TRACK ONT HE WALL AND THIS IS THE SIXTEENTH TRACK

User name checks out.

the first album I listened to thanks to a friend and Jesus christ. this still gives me the same vibes that some of the songs from Pink Floyd's the wall

I was thinking the same thing. Pink Floyd.

Joshua Fowler He's not saying the lyrical content and subject matter of this song is an equivalent to Pink Floyd The Wall. He is reffering to the singers sound. Both having similar emotional tone.

bostonkid9096 exactly

@Joshua Fowler you've also probably never listened to The Wall, that's farther from Dark Side of The Moon (apparently it's stoner music?)

Daniel Gavin if he grew up in the 70s he would of been a hippie he just doesn't know it.

My friends and i stumbled upon this song years ago and we thought it was hilarious at the time because we were all younger. Now that ive gotten a bit older and felt some more tragedy and learned a little bit more about life, i realize that this is one of the saddest songs that i know. For whatever reason, it really touches me and i feel it carries so much meaning even though it doesnt need to be interpreted beyond what the lyrics are stating.

Yupp lmao

This is one of the best songs I have ever heard.

this is how I fucking feel right now :(

Just thinking

I never quite "got" this song, until my anxiety stacked up one night and I ended up sobbing, wishing that I could have someone to tell all my fears to.
Now it's the most heartbreaking song I know.

When you feel summarily sad, there's nothing better than relating to people. Exercise is amazing as well, but doesn't quite come close to being able to tangibly feel that other people understand your situation.

+Koltan Kreamer Definitely. I love that indescribable feeling when someone completely encapsulates a feeling that at times, seems incommunicable. I always feel like i can't articulate a lot of my thoughts/feelings, so when i see a quote or a comment in this case that captures it, it kind of makes me feel less alone

@Koltan Kreamer Yes, most issues you can cope better with if you have like-minded individuals to lean on. Otherwise, you feel lonely and alienated and that just increases the issue.

Ezra Block this happened to me, as well, with other artists and songs. it hurts.

feel u bro

"AIDS"-Jim Jefferies

I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid that my teenage years will be the best ones, I'm afraid of growing up. I'm afraid that everyone sees through my happy facade. I'm afraid that I won't matter. I'm afraid that every step I take is backwards. I love this world.

Nice profile pic. Modest Mouse is the bomb

im afraid too

"I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind."

@Ancala Bond True.

that whole genovese thing is bullshit btw. while the bystander effect exists, that story wasn't reported correctly and in actuality was a more uplifting story

adolfo estrada Still a good and chilling lyric, which was the primary point of the comment.

The story about the multiple witnesses wasn't all fabricated. There's more than one witness confessing to ignoring her cries and playing it off as a drunk couple fighting. But the media did blow it wayyyyyy out of proportion.

@adolfo estrada Richmond High School, 2009. Much more well documented and even more chilling. 20 witnesses ignoring a woman being gangraped for over two hours before someone finally calls the police.

I'm afraid of adults and of becoming one. I know they don't exist which makes it more frightening because weather you're old or young no one really knows what the fuck they're doing. And adults who think the concept of adults exists, scares me. I'm afraid of telling adults about my mental health. And I'm afraid to tell adults about being queer. I hate adults because all they have done is pretend to be heroes and then disappointed me as I grow I see how disgusting they are. Cruel humans. Apart from the negativity I do have people in my life who are great. Almost non of them are "adults"

+loonylightsgood You never know exactly what you're doing but you start changing and growing in ways that feel weird as hell. Being utterly responsible and then responsible for others still feels alien. But in another way it's comfortable and I find that when asked I have lessons to give.


I'm so sorry you don't feel safe to come out. If you were here among my friends and I it would barely be something noteworthy. Have you had bad experiences coming out or is it a big and scary step or what? Some people are always willing to listen and talk. Mental health stuff is very important and I'd hope if you just told your parents you needed to talk to someone they would help you. If not see if you can find that help yourself.


It's interesting looking at my parents as i grow older. They stop being invincible and start having flaws. But then...you start noticing that everyone has flaws. You can judge them for their failures or pity them for their shortcomings, or both, or neither. As a parent I'm trying to be a hero to my little one by being (mostly) truthful, explaining why I make the choices I do as best he can understand, and I want to keep him safe but grounded. I have so many flaws but I'm trying and growing and learning.


I hope something I've said helps or makes you think some people becoming adults can do it right. I hope it gives you hope that you can become the best person that you can be as an adult as you grow.

How's the adult life going?

@Jose Perez No such thing. Time is a made up concept by humans. We are technically adults and children at the same time

"His laziness built the pyramids and his solitude was a knife" He is solitude?

+Meme Master Pullen He is alone.

I'm always afraid of the future. I have my head pointed forward so much, I'm afraid I'll lose sight of where I am right now. I'm afraid of what will happen to everyone around me and to my loved ones.

love this so much

I'm afraid of this band. like seriously what the fuck is this

Better go contact local news. That's the only way you can really talk about what triggers you.

That's what i did when I was triggered by my AC for being sexist to my cat

@TheToasterStrudel
So AC's aren't only sexist, they are species-ist? shit this goes deeper than I thought.

@Politician Cranberry Yeah dood

When I saw them live, they closed with this and I was near tears. So much raw emotion, and passion. If you ever have the chance to see these guys live, absolutely do it. You will never regret a minute of it.

I have crescent ballroom's version downloaded onto my phone instead of this original because the way it sounds, hearing the live crowd just gets to me

Listened to these guys live on the 8th. Of course they closed with this and it was the most fucking amazing thing ever.

+Daniel Gavin i cant find it anywhere do you know where to get it?

Dustin Mercier soundcloud/Spotify

I want to go see them so bad but the closest showing is almost a 6 hour drive ;~;

I just said goodbye to my grandfather for the last time, and am now simply waiting for the phonecall that I know will soon come. Now more than ever this song speaks to me, and it's killing me inside.

God this is so powerful. I have anxiety all the time over my worries. Though I feel like this song is about bravery. We can only be brave when we are afraid and admit our fears. Only the most scared of us can be the most brave. We don't get a prize for it, and we don't get recognized but we are brave and we have a chance to change the world by accepting that fear. I constantly fear for my family and my daughter growing up in this world. This is the anthem for the brave. 

@Travis Bewley That's part of finding what it is to love somebody. Not like grown ups, but like real love. Im scared of not being scared in a scary place. Cuz that would mean Im dead.

+Travis Bewley The thought that keeps me going as an activist is that I don't want this world to be the one that my daughter grows up in.

+Travis Bewley The thought that keeps me going as an activist is that I don't want this world to be the one that my daughter grows up in.

+Travis Bewley "This is the anthem for the brave." This is such a beautiful interpretation.

Travis Bewley no god is not poweful

Haha, what a weird video. I clicked onto it feeling perfectly fine yet here I am five minutes later in tears. Haha so weird.

i love your profile picture. where is it from?

a group called "I monster", i'd advise checking out their song "Daydream in blue" it's a remix (or sample) of an older orchestral piece

Pre Christmas Island AJJ is fucking awesome

Christmas Island was pretty bad, but honestly I didn't think The Bible 2 was that bad. It wasn't People Who Can Eat People or Knife Man quality, but most of the songs were pretty good imo.

@Sam Gills I moster propably